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oday we celebrated 14 months without a TV in the house. Yes folks, we managed to do it and better yet, we feel happier and closer as family. Let me tell you how it happened.

In November 2008, I read about a UK-based study concerning TV abstinence in the household (the participating families were still allowed to use the Internet). After several months, the researchers found the spouses had a better marital relationship (fewer arguments); the parents felt closer to their kids (reading them books before bedtime); and everyone had better overall health (more sleep and less fatigue).

I was a normal guy at the time. Two kids, two TVs (one linked to cable, the other to mandra *old-fashioned* antennae). We have one maid, who was often overwhelmed by household chores and therefore used the TV to keep the overactive children from destroying the house. They were glued to the TV and we appreciated that.

The quality of Indonesian TV is horrible, as you know. Either you are stuck with the eternal negativity of the Corruption Eradication Commission (KPK), Anggodo Widjojo or recently Artalyta "Ayin" Suryani's private hotel in Pondok Bambu prison, or you are stuck with lowly soap operas or gossips.

You know, the celebrity kind that usually runs like this "A is having an affair with B, who is now pregnant while C, the wife is holding press conference".

We (that means me and my wife) decided undemocratically and unilaterally to disconnect our home from this negative bombardment to our souls. We disconnected the cable, gave away one TV set to my loyal office boy and threw away the mandra antennae. We maintained one TV and one DVD player, which we allowed ourselves to use on the weekends.

The first three months were the hardest. Especially on those telemarketers trying to get us back. We had almost sold our soul and wanted to get it back. TV is part of our culture. It is not something that we have; it is something that we are.

Slowly, we began to adapt and saw the benefits. The children had more time for their homework. We ate dinner together.

My daughter's reading ability began to improve faster than her peers. We spent more time together, talking, helping homework, reading and no longer miss and feel as hostage to the ubiquitous super box.

I do miss some good TV shows such as Kick Andy but compensate this by getting them from YouTube or going to my sister's house nearby.

Are there any misgivings? Well, only that my kids did not know about Krisdayanti's latest status with Anang Hermansyah, that there was a criminal mutilating children, that the judicial system really sucks here and that you can get convicted for stealing a few cocoa fruits.

Then again, we do not need the kids to absorb all of that and become people who do not believe in true love, friendship, loyalty and kindness. All those qualities can be found and learned in books like Tintin, Laskar Pelangi and Lima Menara, or later Paulo Coelho and Ernest Hemingway.

So I would suggest that you give your family a regular treat this Valentines Day - chocolate, roses, etc, etc. More importantly, give yourself to them. Stop watching and start living. Readers, today, I finally braved myself to cycle to work and aspire to do so once or twice a week. I will tell you all three months from now. In the meantime, Happy Valentines!