F

or those who inquired about my well-being after my mega revelation recently, thank you for being such sweethearts. Yes, I'€™m fine, only the cat lover in me was a wreck upon learning that Hello Kitty was not a cat.  

Across different media platforms, however, millions worldwide felt scandalized by the revelation that Hello Kitty, the Japanese cartoon character widely assumed to be a cat for decades, turned out to be a cat-looking British girl named Kitty White who lives with her parents in a London suburb. Sincerely or mockingly, the reactions were so virally palpable that Peanuts felt the immediate need to announce that Snoopy is 100 percent dog.

Hello Kitty was launched by Sanrio in Japan in 1974 and made its way overseas shortly afterward. Its 40th anniversary later this year (she'€™s a Scorpio, we also know now) will be celebrated by a marathon in Singapore to the glitzy exhibition at Japanese-American National Museum in Los Angeles whose curator, anthropologist and author Christine Yano, revealed Hello Kitty'€™s true nature and identity.

That its initial entrance to the US market in mid 1970s was through Asian-American communities made many Asian-American girls feel like finding a connection to their heritage makes it very ironic now that Sanrio'€™s revelation suggests Kitty'€™s British identity might be based on Japanese girls'€™ infatuation toward anything British in the 1970s.

Japanese, British or American, however, Hello Kitty was never my kind of kitty. For starters, it had no mouth. What the heck is the point of a mouthless cat that can'€™t meow and purr? Garfield sulks all day but at least it purrs, while Tom and Sylvester meow while they'€™re not busy chasing some annoying mouse and bird.

Beyond being soundless, Hello Kitty is also blatantly expressionless '€” failing cats'€™ unique trait to conjure a wide range of expressions that has made them known for their personalities. Hello Kitty not a cat? She was never much of one to begin with.

What would really funk out the fluffy felinesphere is if DC Comics announced that Catwoman was not a cat. Think about it. Hello Kitty was never shown on all fours or purring, but Catwoman pounces and paws in all-feline glory. She earns a living by snatching off other people, the ultimate cat-burglar in action. She does have a human alter-ego named Selina Kyle, but Catwoman is a whole other creature who materialized initially after a series of episodes involving and surrounding cats.

While both Hello Kitty and Catwoman walk and sit like a two-legged creature, Catwoman has openly shown an appetite for fishy catnips, a relish for catnaps and a disdain for dogs.

If DC Comics ever wanted to pull a Sanrio shock, the best they might claim was that Catwoman was some sort of cat from the future or a parallel universe, but I don'€™t really see how they'€™d somehow ever venture to say that Catwoman was not a definitive feline form.

Even if DC Comics could pull it creatively, would they? While she doesn'€™t paw or pounce at her opponents, Catwoman sultrily prances around with a whip at hand, setting a high bar of a sex kitten image for other kittens to jump over and opening up another demographic fan base Hello Kitty hardly taps: Males.

Boys and men who hog their comic books or DVDs for that matter can share the love-and-hate sentiments their hero Batman harbors for the unapologetically petulant, pretty, prowling pussycat. Created initially as a sidekick, Catwoman stole enough scenes to earned her own popular franchise that now also includes a standalone Hollywood movie.

Since its 1974 launch, Hello Kitty'€™s value is estimated at US$7 billion per annum. But Catwoman is a 74-year-old character whose story is tightly linked to a host of other characters that as a total cast should be worth tens of billions of dollars.  

I'€™m slightly curious to see how much brand Hello Kitty will be worth after this announcement, but if DC Comics should ever decide to gamble with Catwoman'€™s identity, it would be a true major branding exercise in this 24/7 news cycle. And one that I'€™ll watch, with notepad and spreadsheets at hand.

So wake me up when Catwoman is not a cat. Me-owwwww.