One act of impulsiveness can change everything. Such a declaration accurately describes Clara Tan’s latest career transformation from a fashion model to a self-fulfilled body positivity advocate.

It all happened after a client took issue with her changing figure. In a matter of hours after hearing the criticism, driven by frustration, she decided to show off her full figure in all its glorious imperfection to the whole internet through her social media account — not knowing whether it would end her career or open up a whole new vista for the 26-year-old model.

Where did this seemingly reckless gutsiness come from? “It came from [being a] Virgo!” she said, half-jokingly.

Destiny and diet

Most young women pursue modelling for glamorous clothes or fancy checks. Clara, however, pursued modelling because, in her own words, “I was born to be a model”.

“If you look at my pictures as a kid—when I was around five years old—my pose was already model-like!” she told The Jakarta Post via Zoom on Sept. 24.

Regardless of her self-proclaimed destiny, she often looked for inspirations and fashion paragons in international models such as Cara Delevingne and Indonesian model Dara Warganegara. The latter, in particular, left an impactful impression on Clara due to her chameleon-like versatility. “She’s very cool! Even just by changing her make-up—even just by changing her lipstick—her face changes as well!” she said.

Clara cut her teeth in modelling when she was 18 years old. She was scouted by James Hartono Efendi, who is now Clara’s manager and the co-founder of Jakarta-based modelling agency KICK Management. She might have the innate talent to start a modelling career, maintaining consistency, however, was a different issue. To continue booking modelling jobs, Clara had to consistently meet the expectation of having the so-called ‘perfect body’.

“For fashion [editorials], the standard of being skinny was ludicrous,” she remarked.

As a result, her dietary menu consisted of mostly soft-boiled eggs and salads with no dressing. Finding fellow models to share body misery was, in Clara’s experience, pointless.

“Everybody has different antibodies and immune systems, so there might be models out there who are gifted with the ability of not gaining weight at all,” she added.

Gaining truth

The COVID-19 pandemic hurt many people’s jobs, and Clara’s was no exception. Canceled fashion shows, travel bans and cost efficiency forced fashion models like Clara to hit the brakes. “Even if I got a modelling job, they would press down the fee,” she said.

Feeling demotivated, she decided to quit her diet and “started enjoying the food that I couldn’t eat before”, eventually gaining 17 kilograms. Soon after, Clara was informed of a modelling job for a department store. Her client gave their word of assurance that Clara’s weight gain would not be an issue. Unfortunately, on the day of the photoshoot, the client was stunned by Clara’s appearance and decided to sing a different tune instead.

Real size: During the 2020 pandemic, Clara decided to quit her strict diet and started enjoying "food that I couldn't enjoy before", resulting in weight gain of 37 pounds (17 kilograms). (Ervina Claudia) (Clara Tan archives/Ervina Claudia)

“Long story short, the client made a remark [about the weight], so I told them off. I said, ‘I already told you about [my weight gain] before I accepted this job! So why are you [mocking] me?’”

Frustrated with the client’s distasteful remark, she decided to have an evening of stress release with the crew from her photoshoot. Then, in a drunken haze, an idea came to mind. “Why don’t I just announce on Instagram that I’m ‘fat’ now? That I have stretch marks? That I’m gaining weight?” she said.

At first, her intention to post her announcement was not to spark a conversation on body image, but simply to ensure that “if any client wants to book me in the future, they will already know what my body looks like now”. To clarify her message further, Clara decided to conduct an impromptu photoshoot, wearing nothing but her undergarments to show off her weight gain.

Clara posted her announcement—including her bare-it-all photos and the hashtag #ShowYourFlaws—on her Instagram account on Oct. 27, 2020, and it has attracted at least 256,000 “likes” since then. She did not expect her announcement to go viral, much less that it would deliver both a message of self-love and a thought-provoking conversation piece among netizens. In a matter of months, Clara’s journey of body acceptance was featured in notable fashion magazines such as CLARA Indonesia, Cosmopolitan Indonesia and Vogue Singapore. The latter, in particular, was a career apex for Clara.

“Isn’t it every model’s dream to be featured in Vogue?” she gushed. “Let’s not be a hypocrite about this - [being featured] was awesome!”

As Clara’s long-time manager, James is no stranger to her gutsiness—including its usual payoff.

“When Clara has something to prove, that usually turns into something positive,” he observed.

#ShowYourFlaws

Since late 2020, Clara has been focusing on her new career as an advocate for body positivity. She has been actively campaigning for her cause in webinars conducted by empowerment-oriented brands and communities such as Things Untouched, KAIE Beauty and deTalks by PPIA RMIT. Moreover, she has revisited the fashion world with her endorsement partnership with Maybelline and SOMETHINC. This time around, it was her new size and her advocacy that attracted those brands.

Confidence: 26-year-old Clara Tan switched gears from being a fashion editorial model to being a confident advocate for body positivity. (Hariono Halim) (Clara Tan archives/Hariono Halim)

“Right now, lots of brands—including the local ones—have started adopting the trend of focusing on real size or plus size, therefore zero size or strict model size is no longer absolute. Those brands are looking to sell, and their targeted customers are women of real size. That’s why the modeling industry in Indonesia has started to change as well,” commented James.

Unfortunately, such progress might still be difficult when it comes to the catwalks.

“Because designers’ clothes are mostly of mannequin size, there’s [still] a demand for catwalk models to have similar sizes,” he added.

This October will mark the first anniversary of Clara’s viral #ShowYourFlaws post. For Clara, she found her life had changed dramatically in a way that was healthier and more joyous. “It feels so good!” she roared in both awe and delight, adding that now she gets to be “more of myself, with no need to hide anything anymore”.

A model and now, a body positivity advocate. Does she also consider herself a role model for young girls everywhere?

“No way! Being a role model is heavy stuff,” she said humbly. “Considering my lifestyle and my candidness as well, I don’t think that [being a role model] is passable. Parents would get mad at me if their kids looked up to me as a role model!”

Still, perhaps young girls could not help but look up to Clara Tan anyway—especially considering this pearl of wisdom she left before our interview ended:

“At the end of the day, you cannot make everyone happy with everything that you say or everything that you do. So, just be yourself!”