G

uessing that I had just returned from a Good Friday church service, the long-bearded man warmly shook my hand and broadly smiled before repeating the words he always speaks every time we meet at a mosque near his house.

'€œLet us have our maghrib prayer.'€ I also repeated my standard answer: '€œI will follow you later.'€

And then? We would laugh together.

Our friendship has lasted for more than 15 years. I have not seen him for several months, ever since his wife demanded a divorce.

He is a devout Muslim, who deeply loves his three children and his wife. He remains committed to his obligations as a father, despite the divorce. I hear he now lives with his elderly mother.

My friend and his ex-wife work closely in guiding their children. I do not know much about his wife but my wife described her as a lovely neighbor who never hesitated to help those in need.

'€œMy wife just fired me '€” without any compensation '€” as mandated by our labor law,'€ he joked when I tried to confirm the rumor of his family problems. I could not believe they had separated after so many years of marriage. To be honest, I regard him as a much more caring and faithful husband than me and a much better role model as a father.

For years, he always invited me to discuss religious matters whenever we met. He explained to me how to behave as a husband and how to act as a father according to his faith. '€œI should become a good imam [Muslim leader] for my family.'€ He is very active in mosque activities. I do know he is a very honest man, although he has a lucrative position in a major national company. He has always been set against polygamy and, as far as I know, he has never cheated on his wife.

One of his favorite topics is Jesus. He said Islam respected Jesus as a prophet, as well as his mother, Mary. He patiently explained to me the position of Jesus in his religion, including that he is not regarded as the Son of God and that Jesus did not die after being crucified on the cross at Golgotha.

I never felt insulted or disturbed by his '€œsermons'€ because I know he was not trying to convert me to his religion. One of the most pleasant times with him is always on Christmas Eve, as he is among the first of my Muslim friends to greet me with the words, '€œMerry Christmas, my dear friend'€.

My conclusion is he just wants to do his best as a friend to ensure I avoid going to hell. He just wants us to go together to heaven after our death. He is a loyal friend, who always offers to help fix my wife'€™s wheelchair.

'€œWhy didn'€™t you go to church today? You are only required to attend Sunday service and yet you are still lazy. Look at me; I pray five times a day and I never try to skip any of them,'€ he often scolded me when he knew I had been absent from my weekly religious service.

Deep in my heart, I feel grateful to have him for a friend. I rarely respond to his arguments about Jesus. I always stick to the advice of my father, a former elementary school teacher, who told his children, '€œNo one has ever returned from heaven or hell to testify which religion embodies the truth. We should just be firm in our religion.'€

During his lifetime, my father was often encouraged by our neighbors to leave the Catholic faith and convert to Protestantism. You may be surprised when I tell you that he was persuaded to leave his church and join a Batak Protestant church in our hometown in North Sumatra.

During my childhood, my religion was often branded as heretical by other villagers. We were often bullied by our friends when we made the sign of the cross before and after our prayers, signifying our deep devotion to Mary. So, I am no stranger to the issue of conversion.

Maybe you remember my telling you about my Muslim foster parents, who adopted me when I was still very young. My foster mother diligently taught me about Islam, but always encouraged me to go to church on Sunday.

Back to my friend, he said he would not remarry until his three children completed their university studies. I think he still loves his wife very much. Despite their separation, for me, they are still perfect parents for their children. I am a much worse father and husband compared to him.

Hopefully, my friend is reading this column today. Thank you for your friendship. Remain strong for your children. Also, thank you for the explanation about Jesus. Today my family is celebrating Easter. If you want, I will share with you the many Easter eggs I have. But eating eggs at our age is not healthy.

'€” Kornelius Purba