T

he United States of America recently followed Mexico to become the 22nd country to legalize same-sex marriage, on June 3, 2015.

As the world'€™s most influential country, the American judicial decision to legalize gay marriage has attracted a good deal of attention.

The decision represents significant progress in how people perceive and respond to differences in society. It is proof of acceptance and respect for humanity.

Parts of the world today are in euphoria knowing that another country has finally legalized marriage for non-heterosexual couples.

It gives them the hope and strength to not feel ashamed, and to believe that their love and commitment are considered equal before the law.

I used to wonder why people, aside from reasons stemming from religion or societal pressure, should wish to get married.

I always thought that marriage was just a system that would needlessly complicate our already complicated lives.

Isn'€™t it difficult enough just to stay alive? Wouldn'€™t marriage only increase our problems as we share our lives with someone, and even have children? If people were just worried about loneliness, then a mere relationship would extinguish this fear.

But it turns out that marriage really is important. To be married means that you risk your personal life and allow yourself to be propped up by someone else who becomes your significant other.

It means you must be ready to share your space and let go of your ego because life is no longer only about yourself.

You must care more about the well-being of others than your own well-being. It is a commitment of fidelity and devotion.

We have often heard our parents say how frightened they were when they finally decided to get married. Life is never the same after you tie the knot.

There is anxiety as each partner prepares their vows. The air becomes thin when they exchange their vows. And once they say yes, the audience takes a deep breath, and then applause breaks the silence. And then, a new journey in life begins.

Marriage constitutes a new level of maturity. We are challenged to stay and talk out our problems whenever there is a disagreement or a clash.

Unlike relationships, which we can break off with relative ease, a marriage vow, witnessed by our family members and friends, is something that we'€™ve promised to keep. We must fight for true love in a marriage.

The state recognizes the status of marriage, and the status of divorce, but it does not recognize a mere relationship. Scientists study marriage but they do not as often study simple relationships.

Marriage is not only about rights and legal protection from government. Marriage is not only about freedom and unity between two people falling in love.

Marriage constitutes a stage of growth for humanity. Marriage is mental development for people to become wiser as human beings. Marriage is an embodiment of civilization as people decide to live communally on a small scale by starting families.

And it is a token of respect toward commitment and a vow of togetherness through hard times and the ugly impulses of the ego.

Marriage has a sacred and profound meaning. Should those of different sexual and romantic orientations be barred from participating in marriage?

Should an LGBT identity prevent people from engaging in the next stage of their mental development, the next phase of their maturity? Should we, cruelly and without sense, force them to commit to someone in marriage who they don'€™t really love?

This is not just about the blind liberal pursuit of happiness, without recourse to cultural and religious considerations. There should be limitations. I know that life is not solely about individual happiness. Individualism can often sink into selfishness.

There is also such a thing as communal happiness to consider.

Communal happiness means that in pursuing happiness, we must also consider other people such as our parents and religious societies, and whether our decisions will hurt them, violating their notion of happiness.

That being said, we must eventually accept that being LGBT is not a disease, and neither is it a choice. It is a natural phenomenon that happens to many kinds of species, including human beings.

Scientifically speaking, it is a condition determined by inevitable factors like genes and the physiology of the brain.

The American Psychiatry Association, as of March 2013, no longer includes homosexuality and Bisexuality in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder (DSM-V).

Nor is being Transgender considered a disorder anymore. It is a matter of dysphoria, or an incongruence between one'€™s expressed gender and assigned gender.

Marriage equality is also a lesson of acceptance. Some of us will have relatives and family who are homosexual. Is our love for them unconditional, or conditional? Do we want them to be happy by giving them the same opportunity for marriage, or not?

Of course, there is a long way to go for Indonesia. It is shocking and depressing that our Constitutional Court does not even approve of interfaith marriage, let alone same-sex marriage.

Their inability to welcome interfaith marriage means that equality and dignity have yet to take root in Indonesia.

However, society is changing. Slowly, but surely, we are progressing to a better and more dignified future.

Nature suggests to us that evolution is inevitable. We will survive to see the day of a brighter civilization.