D

o you remember the international hit and 1985 Grammy-winning song "Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits, the English rock band? The lead character in the song is a blue-collar worker in the hardware department of a home appliance store, who's commenting on the excessive lifestyle of rock stars.

The song was famous for its groundbreaking music video (featuring early computer animation http://noolmusic.com/blogs/YouTube_Music_Videos_80s_90s_Dire_Straits_Money_for_Nothing.shtml) and for its controversial lyrics, "chimpanzees, banging on the bongos . little faggot got his own jet airplane/He's got a helicopter, he's a millionaire". The indictment of the blue-collar protagonist of the song? "That ain't workin, that's the way you do it/Get your money for nothin', get your chicks for free".

The editor of a gay magazine objected to the use of the term *"faggots", saying it was, ah, *below the belt". To this, Mark Knopfler - Dire Straits lead singer and one of the authors of the song - retorted, "Apart from the fact that there are stupid gay people as well as stupid other people, it suggests that maybe you can't let it have so many meanings". Indeed. For me the song certainly had plenty of meanings - not so much regarding foreign rock stars but rather our very own honorable parliamentarians.

Millionaires? Well, not far off by Indonesian standards. After all, they earn an incredible after-tax basic wage of Rp 90-100 million per month (US$8,000 at current exchange rates, over $10,000 when the rate was Rp 9,500), plus pocketing an endless stream of benefits, including housing, transport, wife, kids, medical, rice (I wonder if MPs in the West get potato, bread or beer allowance?), car credit assistance, electricity, communications, secretarial and administrative allowance, as well as financial incentives for attending meetings (Hello? I thought that's what they were supposed to do anyway!). And all that is on top of generous per diems, plus benefits related to positions they hold, for example on commissions etc.

These are phenomenal sums, equivalent to the pay of legislators and government officials in developed nations and absurdly high for a developing nation with economic problems that our legislators aren't doing much to fix. Their Rp 100 million basic monthly salary alone is equivalent to the 7,000 euro salaries of European MPs. This means that in a year our MPs earn more than $100,000 when allowances are added in, which is half of what the President of the United States earns, and two-thirds the salary of the Australian Prime Minister!

Hmmm . that would seem to cover almost any conceivable demand on our MPs' wallets, although, upon reflection, they probably also need a sleaze allowance (for mistresses and all their expensive "needs"), a videophone allowance (for recording sexual encounters of course, what else?) and a hotel allowance (for bonking and illicit "business" meetings). Money for nothin', get your chicks for free.

So I'm wondering how the victims of the Sidoarjo mudflow can't be compensated, but our fat cat MPs can earn such colossal sums? What exactly do our legislators do to deserve this extraordinary generosity on the part of Indonesia's few long-suffering taxpayers?

Not much, it seems. The phrase datang, duduk, diam, duit (attend, sit, keep silent, money) or D4 for short, has long been linked to our MPs, but maybe it's now time to remove the first two Ds, given absenteeism has become routine. Take for example the plenary session of March 2. It was attended by a mere 100 out of the total 550 legislators. Officially 300 attended, but that was just to fill in attendance sheets and vanish, as their signature is all that was required as "proof" that they were there. What could they have been doing that prevented them from doing their duties, I wonder? Too busy collecting bribes perhaps?

And what about the performance of the noble few who did bother to stay on? Abysmal: in the 45-day sitting period which ended March 2, they passed only three of the 35 priority bills scheduled for debate. That ain't workin', that's the way you do it .. No wonder our streets are plastered with the posters of candidates hoping to get on board the gravy train for Senayan (the location of the DPR)! Once you're elected, it's a dream run.

But there is still just one brave fly left in the ointment: The KPK (the Commission for Corruption Eradication). With their 100 percent conviction rate, it is Indonesia's Elliot Ness. Like Ness who took on Al Capone in Chicago, the KPK is taking on the Senayan mafia, and cutting a swathe through the ranks of our elective representatives, catching them red-handed with bribe money in hotels, in malls and at ATMs.

Is it any wonder that our legislators seem reluctant to pass one particular bill - the one that would save the Corruption Court where the KPK prosecutes its cases? The Constitutional Court has ruled that if it is not passed by Dec. 19, 2009, then the Corruption Court will be dissolved. If the bill doesn't become law, corruption eradication in Indonesia will be flushed right down the toilet. Now guess who would get that benefit? Hmmm, let me see .. It wouldn't be the dirty MPs would it?

Make no mistake, the stakes are very high. Our MPs aren't just bangin' on the bongos: While they mess around with money and morals they're gambling our fragile, fledging democracy away. And if the not-so-funny clowns in our Senayan circus get it wrong, we may end up like Thailand and Russia, sliding back to authoritarianism. There are plenty of creepy guys who used to wear military uniforms waiting in the wings, who would be only too happy to take over. Our MPs need to clean up their act, before someone with a gun does it for them.

Constitutional law expert Irman Putra Sidin (The Jakarta Post, March 3, 2009) suggest the "salaries and allowances of House members should be cut off if they continue to perform poorly". Is that all? I reckon our MPs' betrayal of the people's trust is tantamount to high treason that deserves not the highest salary, but the highest punishment.