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We are all sending mixed messages these days
At one time, I changed my Facebook name to âno one on earthâ, so that every time I pressed the âLikeâ button, my friends got a notification saying âNo one on earth likes your postâ
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t one time, I changed my Facebook name to 'no one on earth', so that every time I pressed the 'Like' button, my friends got a notification saying 'No one on earth likes your post'.
Mwah ha ha ha. It was a horrible message to send. But it made everyone laugh.
Often a statement and the medium in which it is sent deliver opposite messages. There have been a spate of these in the news recently.
For example, I was intrigued to read that a farmer in the US drove his tractor around a field to make a huge love heart for his beloved wife. But he made it entirely out of cattle manure! The words said 'I love you' but the medium said 'this is a load of bull poop'. No word in news reports about which interpretation the missus took. Let's see if he's still married in a couple of months.
When I was a student, I always felt that the saying 'The early bird gets the worm' was actually a mixed message. I interpreted it as 'Early worms get eaten alive' and made sure I slept late.
A heavily armed rebel leader in Syria was recently filmed given instructions to his troops from a Hello Kitty notebook.
Now I don't want to be overly critical, but why did he choose Hello Kitty? There are so many brands which send the right message for armed insurrectionists. Pokemon at least has a fighting theme. If he has a thing for cats, a friend of mine recently published a very successful series of books called Warrior Cats. Great battlefield reading for cat-loving rebel leaders.
An alert reader sent me an example from the US. A professor at Johns Hopkins University announced that he was going to give 100 points and an A grade to the top scorer in the class, and proportionately less to each other student in order of achievement. This seemed perfectly reasonable ' until one student worked out that if every student got the same mark, they'd ALL get A grades. The only way to guarantee this was to persuade the entire class to skip the finals. It worked. All got zero points and grade As: the ultimate mixed message. The professor was not amused. What a misery.
Talking of which, a particularly annoying example is 'Misery', the song which has been a huge hit for the pop group Maroon 5. The words go like this: 'I am in misery, and there ain't nobody who can comfort me.' The tune is ultra-happy and bouncy and they look so gleeful when they jump around singing it. Adam! It makes no sense.
Back to Asia for a final example: a woman in Guangdong, China recently decided to generate good karma by releasing trapped animals into the wild.
So she bought a sack of poisonous snakes, such as cobras, and let them loose. Residents of the area received a mixed message. What a great heart! What a stupid head!
When I die, I want a mixed message carved into my grave stone: 'Look, nothing is written in stone.'
If you like this column, send me a mixed message using my pseudonym: 'No one on earth' loved your column!
The writer is a columnist and journalist.
