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By the way ... Till death do us apart
âTo have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, for as long as we shall live
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'To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, for as long as we shall live.'
The wedding vows. So beautiful and simple, yet they can feel like a massive weight around your neck. You solemnly promise in the name of God to be faithful to your partner. Fidelity is not easy, but a vow is a vow. You break it, you bear the consequences.
I made my vows 17 years ago. The roller coaster of married life continues to be an eventful journey. Loving the beautiful moments. Hating the awful moments, which seem to be much more frequent.
Certainly, there's a fine line between love and hate. Whether you want to stay in love or become bitter, it's your choice.
Marriage is a two-way street, in which each party has certain obligations based on mutual respect and honesty. One person alone cannot keep it strong ' it takes two to not fall apart.
Putting yourself into a marriage means that you have to be ready to accept all of your partner's faults. Easy? Far from it.
When a couple becomes trapped in a tedious routine of mutual antagonism, it is hard to keep the relationship healthy. Screaming and shouting replace normal conversation. It is like two angry lions in a small cage, fighting over fresh meat ' or the lack of it.
Working and taking care of the children is no longer enjoyable. We focus solely on finding our partner's flaws and mistakes.
Suddenly, the perfect partner has become the perfect enemy. Everything is on the wrong track. This is when old friends, new friends and new locations become welcome distractions.
An interesting conversation took place during lunch at work recently. A friend of mine posed an unexpected question: 'Have you ever been interested in a man, apart from your husband?' he asked.
Thinking he was merely curious, I casually replied: 'Well, sure, I am not a saint. Once or twice, I was
attracted to a colleague.'
But then he interrupted: 'I mean sexually'.
Speechless, I tried to ascertain what exactly he wanted from me. Instead of answering him, I questioned his intention.
Suddenly he burst out. 'I am attracted to a woman and I plan to pursue her. I am quite confident that I could get her.'
My body stiffened. I could not believe what I had just heard. I tried to calm down. That last thing I wanted was to be a hypocrite. But trying to exercise wisdom, I knew I could not give him any encouragement.
Though a little disappointed and sad, I told him to abandon his plan. It would be irrational for him to pursue an affair, as he has a very supportive, pleasant and beautiful wife.
I explained how his amorous feelings were only a temporary illusion; a tiny, insignificant spark that could hurt the people he loves. Don't play with fire. Once you get burned, the scar remains.
It is human to fall in love, to be attracted to someone, even when you are already in a relationship.
But it cannot go beyond attraction. Take a step back, remember the day you said your vows. Ask yourself, is your marriage worthless or worth fighting for?
I chose to stay faithful, to stay in love with my husband. Yes, you may say it is cheesy, but knowing I am being loved is soothing to the soul.
God works in magical ways. He sent me my better half for a specific reason. I am a very strong-willed, stubborn and obstinate person. I am not proud of my negative traits.
But I have a man who insists on being with me and is still willing to endure my outrageous character.
A man, who vowed to love and cherish me, for as long as we live.
' Alexa Zacharie
