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helicopter crash on Friday, May 8 in a mountainous area of Pakistan tragically killed six passengers, including two ambassadors and two ambassadors'€™ wives. One of them was Mme. Heri Listyawati Burhan, the spouse of Indonesian Ambassador to Pakistan Burhan Muhammad.

Some may say that this terrible accident could have happen to anyone, anytime, anywhere.

Nevertheless, the members of diplomatic missions assigned to so-called hardship posts are more likely to deal with such risks.

Only a few weeks ago our embassy in Yemen was badly damaged by an air strike injuring two diplomats, other Indonesian citizens and Yemenis.

In fact, such a threat can happen even in countries that seem far from being tagged '€œhardship'€. In a period of less than 10 years (2004 and 2012), there were two bomb explosions at Indonesian Embassy in Paris.

The second one took place while we were living there due to my husband'€™s posting.

Fortunately nobody was seriously injured, but the material losses were quite large and it was certainly a traumatic experience.

An insightful article titled Appreciating Our Diplomats was written by Mr. Wirya Adiwena (The Jakarta Post, May 2, 2015) expressing his concerns on the reality and sad side of diplomats'€™ work.

As mentioned in the article, too often this seemingly prestigious profession is ironically regarded as implying merely '€œthe image of glamour and champagne'€.

In my own experience, people do frequently utter their presumption of how nice and comfortable it must be to live abroad, as if comparing it to a long holiday. This stereotype is definitely misleading and far from reality.

Working as a diplomat, which means representing your country, is surely not a light responsibility to bear. Apart from the danger in hardship posts, there exist other obstacles that may not be lethal yet are quite significant.

I would like to share these common challenges facing diplomats'€™ families, based on personal observation and experience when accompanying my husband in his two previous postings.

Normally when posted to a foreign mission, a diplomat is accompanied by his or her family. The roles of family members are neither insignificant nor limited to supporting capacities.

Actually, on various occasions diplomats'€™ family members should act as '€œdiplomats'€ themselves. Diplomats'€™ spouses are required to readily assist in the activities of the mission, from culinary and cultural diplomacy to national day celebrations.

On the other hand, they are not allowed to work professionally during the posting period. Some families must decide whether to live separately or to sacrifice the career of the spouse.

Diplomats'€™ children are also an important part of the equation. Facing different environments and constantly adapting both in the foreign and home country makes them the most risk-prone. New homes, schools, friends and languages are normal things. Once they are about to settle in a place, it is already time to move and start from scratch again.

Constantly changing early life stages shapes them to be '€œthird culture kids'€ (TCK) '€” children with the unique experience of moving between cultures before fully developing their personal and cultural identity.

These so-called global nomads or cultural chameleons are exposed to typical experiences, both good and bad. The primary benefits are perhaps their multilingual skills and the ability to adapt well to new environments, an expanded world view resulting broader perspectives, as well as higher sensitivity and empathy.

The main challenges include the ongoing switch of schools, hence friends. While this constant change can be beneficial, it is at the same time a potential threat, for each child has a different level of ability to adjust. Some can survive, some others sadly cannot.

Furthermore, being in foreign countries puts them among different sets of cultural values that sometimes can be conflicting. They are obliged to hold on to their home culture while at the same time adjusting to local customs.

At the family level, the unceasing moving process itself is never a piece of cake. Packing, unpacking, leaving and finding home, changing schools, learning new languages, meeting new neighbors, driving on the other side of the road, adjusting to new cultures and so on.

However, difficulties are well paid off once things finally start to fall into place. While spending a few years in a foreign land, the beauty of learning new things, visiting wonderful places, making lots of friends and gaining invaluable experiences makes it all worthwhile.

After all, there are always two sides of the coin '€” ups and downs, peaks and valleys. At the end of the day, life is about making choices and living with the consequences. Like they say, '€œLife is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it'€™s about learning to dance in the rain.'€

To all Indonesian diplomats and their families, hold your heads up high.

A speedy recovery to Ambassador Burhan Muhammad and deep condolences to the whole family. To Mme. Listyawati, may your soul rest forever in peace.
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The writer is spouse of Charles F. Hutapea, previously assigned to the Indonesian Embassy in Paris (2009-2013) and the Indonesian Consulate General in Osaka (2002-2006). Her memoir Voila La France was published in April 2015 as well as Paris '€“ C'€™est Ma Vie in December 2012