For some trans and non-binary individuals, menstruation and its accompanying period pain is not only a painful physical experience but also causes emotional challenges. 

Erik Nadir, 29, a communications officer for the Asia Pacific Transgender Network, said he had always felt he was assigned the wrong gender at birth, which was female.

From a young age, Erick believed he had been wrongly assigned as female at birth until he started getting his periods in the third grade. Erik said that he substituted tissues for pads during his first period to hide it.

"After my first period, I felt like I was being 'struck by lightning,' as my body was betraying me; and I didn't tell my mother until I started experiencing period 'leaks' in my fourth month [of experiencing my period]," Erik says.

"I wished that the period would never come so that [my mother] would think that my gender was wrongly assigned at birth," he adds.

Emotional aspects

The emotional aspects of experiencing periods were complex for Erik. 

"I did not want people to know that my body was changing [and that I was experiencing] female puberty," he says.

For Erik, making peace with his period took a while. He had his period in the third grade – earlier than most of his friends. It took Erik almost a decade to understand and appreciate his own body. 

Erik said that it was in his university years that he finally accepted that his period was also a part of how his body operates.

"There were days when I repressed my identity until I met the trans men community, where I learned that our reproductive system doesn't define our gender," Erik says.

For him, learning more about the concept of sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression and sex characteristics (SOGIESC) finally helped him accept his body. 

"I learned from the studies of SOGIESC that sex and gender are two different things. I learned how my body functions, that having a uterus in my reproductive system doesn't make me a woman," he says. 

Erik said the main reason he had difficulty dealing with his period was that society judges a person's gender based on their reproductive system and physical appearance. 

"Society tends to put you in a box. If you have a vagina and uterus, you must have a child and assign your gender role as a woman. If you don't follow the normative system, they may label you a sinner," he said. 

"I think it's important for trans men to learn more about the reproductive system. I feel that the trans men community is often marginalized and forgotten."

Meanwhile, Santi, a non-binary individual from Tangerang who chose not to divulge their real name, shared that having periods had caused them to experience gender dysphoria and mental health issues. (Santi asked to use their/they/them pronouns).

Santi admitted that getting their first period left them feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable with their own body because they were aware that when they got their first period, their body would begin to go through puberty and gain more "feminine" characteristics, with larger breasts one of their insecurities growing up. 

"I prefer to have nothing down there," the 21-year-old said. 

The second oldest of the four siblings shared that growing up in a strict household had made their situation even more challenging. Santi often confided about their period experience with their brother, also a transgender man. 

Veron, a transmasculine and third-year political science student in the Netherlands, experienced health concerns because of an irregular menstrual cycle and was told by their doctor" to grow and dress more femininely" during a medical visit. 

Hence, Veron felt that their worries were dismissed. They shared, "I have an actual health problem, and they believed that the problem was from what I wore."

"The doctor said if my menstruation is irregular, it's simply because I have short hair and a 'tomboy' appearance. My identity as non-binary, transmasculine or agender may only be indirectly related," they add.

Ayu R. Yolandasari, a gender, sexuality and mental health specialist based in Jakarta, said there were three main reasons transgender men and non-binary individuals had a complex relationship with menstruation. 

Ayu said that as a society, Indonesia tended to be heteronormative and had a binary view of gender. 

In a heteronormative society, Ayu said, society often judged individuals by the gender they were assigned at birth. In this case, an individual is born with a vagina and uterus, thus they will be assigned female at birth for their sex category. 

"Society tends to view the individual as female or automatically assume the person's gender identity as a cisgender woman," Ayu affirmed. However, Ayu continued that the assumption from society was not always correct because people may identify themselves with different gender identities. 

Moreover, Ayu added, in society, individuals often identify periods or menstruation as an experience identic with cisgender women or those assigned female at birth and who identified themselves as female later.

"In a heteronormative society, people consider that only cisgender women experience menstruation. Although, menstruation is not an experience that exclusively happens to cisgender women, as it's a cycle for anyone born with a uterus or ovaries," she says.

It is common for menstruators to experience physiological and psychological discomfort during the period moreover, if they undergo premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), a depressive disorder linked to menstruation.

Transgender men and nonbinary individuals are often dismissed. Ayu explained that the experience of menstruation is one way that the identities of trans and nonbinary individuals are often devalued or invalidated by society.

"The invalidation generated from society ultimately makes the trans and non-binary group experience their identity crisis and intensify their dysphoria," Ayu says.

In addition to facing discrimination from various groups, transgender friends have more difficulty getting their menstrual supplies because of the attached stigma. 

"A lack of access can be due to the dysphoria or extreme anxiety experienced by trans friends, resulting from the gap between the gender they perceive and the gender they were assigned at birth," Ayu explained.

As a minority group, Ayu added that the anxiety of the transgender men and non-binary community can be heightened when trans men have to use period-related products in gendered public restrooms. 

Ayu noted that trans men may feel uneasy around other people in the men’s bathroom since the sound of the plastic wrap of pads was strongly associated with feminine things that could risk their safety if anybody notices their presence in the male-signed restroom.

"That thing [menstrual product] also relates to their body and may remind them that their body has been made to validate their identity," they say.

The lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) communities are prone to stigma and discrimination from society. Research by the Legal Aid Institute (LBH) in 2017 showed that 973 people became victims of stigma, discrimination and violence due to their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression by not conforming to heteronormative binary norms. 

The survey showed that transgender individuals had the highest number of reported cases, with 715 incidents, gay individuals with 225 incidents and lesbians reporting 29 incidents.

More feasibility

Erik highlighted that there had always been communities welcoming trans men. "Understanding SOGIESC creates a more coherent framework that enables the trans community to accept themselves more easily," he says.

Despite the unavailability of SOGIESC education to everyone, Ayu stressed the importance of educating society about SOGIESC. The heteronormative paradigm dominating our community inevitably exacerbates how marginalized groups like non-binary people and transgender men suffer.

"Moreover, we must challenge the belief that the natural state of menstruation is a normal woman-specific experience. Even for cis-females, especially those with PMDD, a period may be an unpleasant experience leading to suicidal thoughts," Ayu adds.

Popular

PDI-P will likely be part of opposition: Ganjar

Indonesia one step from Olympics after beating South Korea

Bahlil leads task force to boost sugar, bioethanol production in Papua