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hat qualities do women look for in men? If you'€™re thinking looks and money, forget it '€” they don'€™t even make the top 10. Honesty, reliability, loyalty, intelligence, integrity, self-confidence, understanding, courage, caring and compassion are the traits that women consistently go for.

And it turns out that what women want in a man is also what they want in a leader, which is why they voted disproportionately for Jokowi. Various polling centers came up with varying results, but they consistently found it'€™s Joko '€œJokowi'€ Widodo women flock to.

Well, as they say in France, cherchez la femme (look for the woman). The phrase originates from Alexandre Dumas'€™ 1854 novel, The Mohicans of Paris, and is repeated several times in the novel: '€œIl y a une femme dans toutes les affaires; aussitôt qu'€™on me fait un rapport, je dis: Cherchez la femme! [There is a woman in every case; as soon as they bring me a report, I say, '€˜Look for the woman!'€™]'€.

The connotation is usually negative, blaming women for everything bad, but why don'€™t we give it a positive spin? We can certainly do that in the case of Jokowi'€™s women, all 38 million of them.

Let me explain the calculations: there were reportedly 190 million voters in this year'€™s presidential election. If Jokowi-Kalla won by 53.15 percent, they must have received 70,633,576 votes. If 55 percent of these voters were women, that makes about 38 million.

You may not think that'€™s such a big amount in comparison with the total number of voters, but given that the difference between the two candidates was only 8,370,732 votes, women'€™s votes were very significant. In fact, Fitri Hari, a researcher from the Indonesia Survey Circle (LSI), says '€œWomen voters are ['€¦] the warehouse of votes for Jokowi'€.

Saiful Mujani Research and Consulting adds that 56 percent of women voted for Jokowi and 44 percent for Prabowo Subianto-Hatta Rajasa, a gap of 12 percent. Interestingly, various polling centers found there was not much difference in the votes of men for the two candidates, which in some instances were about equal. If that is right, then women gave Jokowi the presidency.

So what'€™s behind the numbers? Women claim that what they like most about Jokowi is his humility (sederhana); his hallmark blusukan (impromptu visits), which shows he cares about the '€œlittle people'€ (rakyat kecil); and his down-to-earth, hands-on approach to dealing with problems.

Women also like the fact that he is not associated with any hint of corruption, and that he comes from a harmonious family. And guess what? They love his face!

'€œThat face, that face, that wonderful [village, ndeso] face!'€ It'€™s not a handsome face that makes women swoon like Channing Tatum'€™s or Johnny Depp'€™s, but it does make them feel secure. They reckon a face like Jokowi'€™s is more trustworthy than, for example, Aburizal '€œIcal'€ Bakrie.

If you recall, pointy-chin Ical went on a jaunt to the Maldives with two young women, which dealt a heavy blow to his political leadership in Golkar, and his credibility for any future position in government for that matter.

In many ways Jokowi provides the kind of leadership that men and women alike have been waiting
for: a leader who listens rather
than dictates, one who is loved rather than feared; a leader who is truly inclusive and embraces everyone.

Jokowi is walking the talk of the '€œmental revolution'€ that he advocates, and moving for a paradigmatic shift from masculine-style leadership to a more feminine one '€” for the first time in Indonesian history.

Ann Cummings, professor of business administration at the University of Minnesota at Duluth once conducted a brainstorming session with women executives to describe leaders.

The traits associated with male leaders were: strong, powerful, dominant, assertive, intelligent, ego-driven, bravado, single-tasking, focused, competitive, stubborn, physical, self-righteous and arrogant. On the other hand, the traits associated with female leaders included collaboration, consensus and relationship-building, emotional, empathetic, strong, intuitive, compassionate, verbal and multi-tasking.

Throughout our political history, Indonesia'€™s national leadership has been characterized mainly by leaders who exhibited typical masculine traits. Even Megawati'€™s leadership was not particularly feminine, although she was often accused of it (with the aim, sadly, of putting her down).

In fact, Mega'€™s style reflects the common phenomenon of women leaders adopting a masculine style to become '€œone of the boys'€ and be accepted and taken seriously '€” like the Iron Lady, Margaret Thatcher.

Jokowi'€™s style of leadership so far seems to be a combination of the best of both feminine and masculine traits: collaborative, into relationship building, empathetic and compassionate, but also assertive, intelligent and focused.

Let'€™s hope he can keep it up, and use these qualities in his presidency '€” which is certain to be a damn sight more challenging than being mayor of Surakarta or governor of Jakarta.

What does this all imply? For one, that what women voters think has to be taken into account.

While women are not a minority in numbers, they certainly are politically. This puts them in a category with other minorities and marginalized groups, whether sexual, religious or ethnic, but unlike the other groups, women are half the population.

Clearly, this presidential election shows that women voters can make or break a candidate'€™s bid for political leadership, including the top job. That sends a signal to future leaders about how to campaign and '€” more importantly '€” how to lead.

And so, all you men out there '€” including those not running for the presidency, and even those who don'€™t have handsome faces or thick wallets '€” there'€™s hope for you.

Take your cue from Jokowi, and you'€™ll have women flocking to you by the million!