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Love in the time of coronavirus: Virtual blind dates during the pandemic

As the coronavirus pandemic drags on, a growing number of single people are signing up for virtual blind dates to meet prospective partners

JP Staff (The Jakarta Post)
Jakarta
Wed, August 4, 2021

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Love in the time of coronavirus: Virtual blind dates during the pandemic

T

hese days, virtual dating is nothing unusual, and many Indonesians can name at least one free dating app. These apps make the prospect of meeting a match resoundingly easy, with the promise that "the one" may only be a swipe away. In non-pandemic times, a match turns to a chat, then to a real-life meeting.

Virtual blind dating is not much different: Users go online and try to meet prospective partners. One key difference is that users can also converse directly instead of relying on emotion-lacking texts. There is also no specific app in use; instead, online match-making groups set up prospective couples for these virtual dates. 

The trend emerged during the pandemic and a few groups have started this activity, which has grown into a promising business. Dalam Pencarian (On the lookout) and Virtual Blind Date (VBD) by the Malam Minggu Project are two that offer such virtual blind-dating opportunities.

In February, VBD started with four people: Mira, Eve, Adian and Ihaw (full name to be added later, all students at the Sepuluh Nopember Institute of Technology in Surabaya, East Java. The team now comprises more than 30 people across the country.

"We believe that as humans, our need to find connection never stops. But because of the pandemic, many of the social aspects of our lives have shifted and it has become a challenge to find ways to fulfill our needs in making meaningful connections. And we believe Virtual Blind Date is the perfect platform that can help achieve that goal," Mira told The Jakarta Post. 

Helping people find love: College students Mira, Eve, Adian, and Ihaw work together to create VBD.
Helping people find love: College students Mira, Eve, Adian, and Ihaw work together to create VBD. (JP/Courtesy of VBD)

Dalam Pencarian also comprises five university students in Malang, East Java. Angelina Audrey, the 19-year-old founder of the program, said she and her friend, Angela Michellelia, created the blind date platform because online classes or working from home made it hard for young people to make new connections and start relationships.

"Many of our friends have also told us they feel online classes make their social circles really small, making it nearly impossible to find new friends, lovers or people they really connect with," Angelina said.

"After identifying this problem, we decided to create a little fun project – virtual blind dates – in the hope of connecting more people, especially the youth, so they could at least have a little comfort in finding new friends and being a part of our community amid everything that is currently going on.”

'Meeting room'

The system is simple. Single people wishing to join must sign up, pay a fee and show up at the scheduled time. Dalam Pencarian's fees range from an early-bird price of Rp 15,000 (US$1.03) to the normal rate of Rp 20,000, while VBD's range from Rp 35,000 to Rp 50,000, depending on the option you choose.

On VBD, blind daters must first complete a registration form describing themselves and what they expect from an ideal date. On the day of the date, each participant gets to meet four people in separate 15-minute breakout sessions via Zoom, without video. Participants can exchange contact details during the date.

Dalam Pencarian's system is similar, but Angelina said one difference was that a committee manually matched people up before the date.

More than cool looks: Vicky does not like to rely solely on pictures to flaunt his charm, so he opted for virtual blind dates.
More than cool looks: Vicky does not like to rely solely on pictures to flaunt his charm, so he opted for virtual blind dates. (JP/Courtesy of Vicky Sanjaya)

"We match or filter them based on age, location, interest, ideal type and so on. The Google Forms questionnaire is quite specific. Between rounds, we also have some chit-chats and games," she said.

Both programs have fillers before, between and after the dates, including games and informal conversations.

It takes time

While most people are still unfamiliar with the concept of virtual blind dates, some have tried it a few times.

Vicky Sanjaya, a 24-year-old office worker in Jakarta, has already joined three virtual blind dating sessions on VBD, while Grace Safenla, a 25-year-old university student in Surabaya has participated in two.

When asked why she signed up more than once, Grace explained that virtual blind dates were quite different from other forms of dating.

"I like the concept; it's different from dating apps where you swipe right or left and then, even if you match, you don't necessarily talk, right?" she said. "While on a blind date, you're immediately forced to talk, if you have 15 minutes, you can't just be quiet. While dating apps provide visuals and small bios we don't really know to be valid, a blind date introduces you to [the person's] character, starting from intonation, speech style and more."

Grace and Vicky have both exchanged contact details with several of their respective blind dates, mostly Instagram usernames. But after Cupid's arrow missed the target, there was no chance for them to move on to the next step.

Age seems to be the biggest issue. Vicky had only matched with those younger than 20, while Grace felt the process of finding "the one" is harder than before because she is looking for a serious relationship.

Something real: Grace hopes to find a serious relationship from virtual blind dates.
Something real: Grace hopes to find a serious relationship from virtual blind dates. (JP/Courtesy of Grace)

Another issue is location, as the participants live across Indonesia, including on Kalimantan, as well as in Lampung and Lombok in West Nusa Tenggara.

Still, there is the clichéd challenge most people face after exchanging contact details. Grace said most of her matches did not meet her expectations in terms of appearance and personality.

For Vicky, the challenge is an unwillingness to take it to the next level.

"The people I matched with always refused my invitation to hang out in real life, even after several invitations. They were either tired, had things to do and so on. So far, I have not had a chance to meet in real life any of those I have met virtually," he said.

No harm in trying

When asked whether virtual mingling is a great option for finding someone for a serious relationship, the two participants had different opinions but agreed that it was worth a shot.

"Honestly, I really doubt people can meet virtually and then have a serious relationship. But I think in this virtual era, anything can be done and one of the reasons I joined this is to prove that I can find a partner virtually," Vicky said.

But Grace is excited.

"Yes! If you are not a socially active person who joins organizations, communities and so on, this is the best way; especially the blind dates, no worries. Introverts can also be more chilled out because they don't have to meet in person either; they just need to be more excited over Zoom," she said.

Both participants plan to sign up for more blind dates in the future while also recommending them to other single people.

"For those who are really looking for a romantic partner, I fully recommend it. Because who knows, you can really find the right person for a serious relationship. Besides, the event is really interesting and the price is affordable, so I don't think there's a downside," Vicky said.

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