The internet is a nasty place. The anonymity allows anyone with thumbs and a chip on their shoulder to fire off death threats or worse, simply because they happen to hold a different opinion. Gone are the days of critical thinking, decency or rational debate. “You should kill yourself,” reigns supreme while, “You might have a point there,” seemingly shows weakness. 

And while the odds are stacked against productive, critical discourse, Andrea Gunawan, or @catwomanizer to her followers on Instagram, is hell-bent on bringing topics like non-monogamous relationships, breast implants, childfree lifestyles and the dangers of relying on the internet for external validation to the forefront of today’s conversation. 

More importantly, she does not care what you think. She is not talking to you. She knows she cannot convince you of anything, let alone change your opinion about having kids or the value of hymens. But what she can do is make sure that the next generation knows they have options— that they do not have to follow like sheep in the footsteps of their parents. 

I don’t want to be attached to the word activist anymore. I used to consider myself a sexual health activist. I don’t want to be tied down to titles. I want the freedom to say whatever I want.

I never labeled myself a feminist. 

I used to think that love equaled commitment, and commitment had to be a monogamous relationship. 

I’ve learned that love does not equal commitment, and that sex does not equal love. 

Love comes in all forms ­– including non-monogamy. 

I personally don’t believe in long-term monogamy. And when I tell people that they say “Wait. There’s an option?”

It can be a conversation starter between couples, or among friends. 

I’ve had my share of hate from the netizens. But when you actually confront them, after they say something rude, they apologize. They apologize and they say they had problems at home and needed an outlet ­– so they projected their own insecurities. It’s open season on the internet. 

Hecklers…you can actually see them in the crowd. But on the internet, everyone is anonymous. 

People seem to not have the capacity to accept that there are different life choices. I’m actually afraid to bring a kid up in this world because of the internet. 

I want people to know they have a choice. I want to empower all genders and sexual orientations. 

The relationship escalator works like this: you go on a date, then you date exclusively, then you are engaged, then you are married and you have children. That’s not a choice, that’s societal pressure. But I want people to know they have a choice. 

I travel often. That’s the perk of having money and no kids. 

Whenever there is a negative comment out there about the choices I make, I normally just agree with them. 

Every time there is a mean or nasty comment, even if I don’t agree. I just say “You’re right.” 

People just want to feel validated. So I tell them “You’re right.” Works every time. 

Or I just ask with curiosity, “Why do you think that way, Kak?” 

Virginity is not something that you give, or something you lose. It’s not tied to your self-worth. You don’t lose your worth. 

I still get messages from people who tell me they regret losing their virginity to a boyfriend and now they question whether anyone would accept them because they are not a virgin anymore. I ask them if their self-worth is tied to their hymen?

Every year the same debate happens on Twitter: “Who should pay on the first date?” 

If you talk about gender equality all the time, but then when a guy offers to split the bill you say he is not worth your time, something’s not right. 

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