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Betting against fear: Nadin Amizah takes on romantic love in upcoming EP
Nadin Amizah’s sophomore album Kalah Bertaruh finds the young songstress lamenting a failed romance, stripping it down to its bare bones through equally stripped-down sounds. In this exclusive preview, she talks about the personal and creative issues that inspired the EP, which drops on May 26.
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Fearless foray: Nadin Amizah's sophomore album, a five-track EP due out on May 26, sees the singer-songwriter combining folk with elements of bedroom pop, bluegrass and country as she explores romantic love, which she says she finds "immensely terrifying". (JP/Courtesy of Nadin Amizah)
“I’m feeling really great and nervous right now,” Nadin Amizah quips as she presses play on her laptop to give The Jakarta Post an exclusive preview of Kalah Bertaruh (A losing game), her new EP.
Nadin should have all the confidence in the world and nothing to worry about. Her debut studio album Selamat Ulang Tahun (Happy Birthday) received plenty of acclaim and was heralded as one of the best Indonesian albums of 2020 by various music journals and websites. She also won Best Folk / Country / Ballad Production for “Bertaut” (Connection) at last year’s Anugerah Musik Indonesia (AMI) Awards, the country’s equivalent to the Grammys.
Even with all this under her belt, the 20-year-old singer-songwriter had no intention to become complacent or to lose her momentum. As proof, the new EP arrives less than a year after her debut.
Kalah Bertaruh marks Nadin’s evolution for a number of reasons. While her first album explored her childhood and themes like familial love, the sophomore production dives into romantic love.
Nadin further elaborated that the initial concept for Kalah Bertaruh drew from “Taruh” (Bet) on her debut album, one of her most personal songs yet.
“It’s the only song [on Selamat Ulang Tahun] that ponders the concept of romantic love. Many of my family members are divorced, so I find love immensely terrifying. But for the first time, I met this boy who made me want to take that risk,” she said.
“It didn’t go well in real life, though. It actually ended up being the biggest heartbreak of my life,” Nadin laughs, but the experience inspired the tongue-in-cheek spirit of her new EP. “I’m basically laughing at how naïve I was. With all my fears of love, why did I dare to risk it all like that?”
The narrative style of Kalah Bertaruh also separates it from Selamat Ulang Tahun, which is more like an archive of Nadin’s childhood. The EP, on the other hand, is presented as a “tragic love story” of her doomed romance.
“This EP is about a fiery love cycle that ran its course,” she said. “It felt like we were playing a game that offered no victory in sight, but we kept on playing it anyway because, I don’t know, for the satisfaction of it, I guess?”
Her heartbreak, while painful, resulted in a five-track EP as opposed to a full-length studio album.
“I guess I just didn’t want to drown in my grief for too long,” Nadin mused. “This EP [and the relationship that inspired it] will always be a treasured chapter of my life, but I wanted to put an end to it as soon as possible. I believed five songs were enough.”
Nadin deliberately uses three words to tie the EP’s thematic narrative together: kamar (room), mobil (car) and jalan (road), the locations “where everything took place, the good and the bad”, she explained. “Mobil”, for example, refers to “the place where we laughed and fought the most”.
“Also, a car is a very tight space with nowhere to go. I find a car to be the most intimate space,” she added.
While Nadin still maintains her autobiographical lyricism, she decided to be less “poetic” and more “literal”, primarily due to the album’s personal and intimate subject matter. She approached the EP by focusing on what her ex’s reception might be on hearing it and not public reception, “because my ex is not into complicated stuff”.
“In a way, I wanted him to really understand what I was trying to say to him [with this EP],” she said.
In terms of sound, Nadin decided to return to the basics. “When I recorded my first album, I experimented with a bunch of genres. But this time, I wanted to return to something guitar-driven, something stripped down. And I wanted to have some sounds and ambiance that could exude how tragic this love story was, such as the sound of creaking chairs and passing cars.”
For her producer, Nadin recruited indie singer-songwriter Eky Rizkani, also known as “Reruntuh” (wreckage). “I found him on one of the playlists [on Spotify] and I loved his music immediately. It took quite an effort to locate him, though, because he has no social media [accounts]!” she laughed.
Their partnership ultimately led to the five-track folk EP with elements of bedroom pop, bluegrass and country. “It’s the first time I’ve made a record that I want to listen to over and over again,” said Nadin.
Jump to the present, and Nadin finds herself in a better place with a brand-new EP as well as a new romance. As an artist and a human being, does this mean she finally understands what love is?
“Nope!” she laughs. “In fact, I’m getting more confused!”
Kalah Bertaruh, track by track
- “Sebuah Tarian yang Tak Kunjung Selesai” (A dance with no end)
Instead of opening the EP with a “meet cute”, Nadin deliberately begins her love story with “the root of the problem”: mutual denial of the cracks in the relationship. Nadin likens the emotional stalemate to a never-ending dance in this stripped-down ballad. “Imagine, we [went on] dancing even when the music had stopped, even when the lights had been turned off. We were exhausted and it wasn’t fun anymore. But we kept on dancing anyway.”
- “Hormat Kepada Angin” (Respect for the wind)
The more upbeat track of the EP, the bluegrass-influenced “Hormat Kepada Angin” finds Nadin in a ping-pong state between anger and forgiveness. “This song is about me waiting for my anger to recede,” says Nadin. “But specifically, my anger is targeted at myself and my faith. I couldn’t help but ask, ‘God, why is the boy I love not my fated soulmate?’”
- “Seperti Takdir Kita yang Tulis” (As if our destiny was written)
The lead single of the EP is Nadin’s most spiritual song since the 2019 collaboration with Sal Priadi, “Amin Paling Serius” (The most serious amen). “As human beings, we always think we’re in control, but we’re not. With this song, I tried to say that while it was difficult for me to completely let go of control, at least I’d started to accept my destiny.”
- “Menangis di Jalan Pulang” (Crying on the road home)
Nadin describes this folk-bedroom pop slow-burner, delivered entirely in whispery vocals, as “the climax of the EP” about “the downfall of a relationship”. In real life, this took place in Senayan, Jakarta. “It’s the heaviest song, especially emotion-wise. About how many memories we had in his car. About how bad our relationship had become. It was neither his mess nor my mess. It was our mess.”
- “Dan, Selesai” (And, finished)
The final track, which also happens to be the longest on Kalah Bertaruh, is the love story’s epilogue that doesn’t necessarily promise a happily ever after. “I just wanted both of us to move on. I have, but he hasn’t,” says Nadin. She closes the song and the EP with a witty couplet, which is quickly becoming her signature style: “Percaya padaku, Tuhan pun tertawa/ Melihat kita yang hanya menerka” (Trust me, even God would laugh/ Looking at us just guessing around).
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