Afra (not her real name), a 41-year-old woman and former Catholic nun, has been struggling to restart her life after miscarrying a child she conceived with a 33-year-old priest of her diocese in Southwest Sumba regency, East Nusa Tenggara (NTT).

She accuses the priest of breaking his promise, and has said it is unfair that the man was able to remain a priest after his “punishment”, whereas she could no longer become a nun, even though she wanted to.

The accused priest, identified only as MT, is currently being given shelter by the Roman Catholic Diocese of Weetebula in NTT, which has reportedly moved to “punish” the father of the miscarried child.

His victim, on the other hand, continues to struggle with her mental health, even as she seeks legal protection and support from the Catholic Church leadership with the assistance of humanitarian groups. The activists with direct knowledge of her case say it is one of sexual violence resulting from abuse of power.

The Weetebula diocese insists that the institution of church should be considered “a victim” and not “a perpetrator”, while noting that “two consenting adults” had committed “the deed”.

In an interview with The Jakarta Post and independent Catholic media outlet Katolikana, the ex-nun opened up about her past relationship with the priest, saying that they had entered into a consensual sexual relationship. However, the priest abandoned her not too long after she became pregnant.

Afra says that the priest had promised to leave the cloth so they could marry, and that he approached her over a period of nine days when they lived in the same parish before they entered into a sexual relationship.

“I personally and truly feel that this incident is shameful and may have hurt the Church, but I just want to reveal the truth and hope that justice exists [...],” she said, “although I have a little relief in where I am now.”

According to Articles 13 and 16 in the latest draft of the sexual violence eradication bill (RUU PKS), sexual exploitation or rape can involve the use of falsehoods or deception for the purpose of initiating a sexual act.

Afra’s story

Afra had been planning to leave the congregation for personal reasons since December 2019, but has asked for a year to think through her decision.

Last April, she moved to the parish of Adrian (not his real name), her brother and an ordained priest, and where MT also lived. She had planned to use her time there to go into religious contemplation, but instead encountered MT who made sexual advances toward her.

“We knew each other because we were both from Sumba. But it was during my time in the parish that our relationship intensified, after he expressed his feelings for me,” she said. “It seems he may have seen my [spiritual] struggles as an opportunity.”

In May 2020, Afra felt physical changes and took a pregnancy test that came back positive. Worried and scared, she spoke to MT and asked him if they should tell Adrian, but MT rejected the idea.

Afra stressed that MT was very attentive and encouraging in the early days of her pregnancy, even telling her that he expected their child would be a boy and picking out his name, Kristian.

“I believed him,” she said.

But their relationship took a different turn in the following months as she started feeling sick and had to reveal their relationship to her brother. Several relatives who visited her later also learned about her pregnancy and secret affair.

MT admitted to the couple’s relationship during a conversation with her family, and said that while he enjoyed priesthood, he wanted to start a family with her.

“My brother told us that it would be improper for us to continue living in the parish,” Afra recalled of the family meeting.

MT and Afra visited her family on June 2 and lived there until the morning of June 5. During his time there, MT declared his love for Afra to her mother.

But on June 4, Adrian was summoned to a meeting with Weetebula bishop Edmund Woga, who had received his report on MT and Afra’s circumstances.

That day around midnight, four police officers called on Afra’s family, saying that the police had received a report from a parish member that the family had kidnapped MT. MT, who was staying with Afra’s family at the time, promptly refuted the report.

Before going to bed, however, he took several phone calls that Afra believed were from his family. MT disappeared by the following morning, when the couple was to meet with diocesan officials.

“On that day I still believed in him, thinking that he needed [time] to process it all,” she said.

To be continued.

— Evi Mariani is a former senior journalist at The Jakarta Post. The former nun was interviewed in November 2020.

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