From juggling work and driving the kids to school to helping them with homework and listening to children rambling about Peppa Pig and Dora the Explorer, modern fathers are opening up about how they share roles with their partner in raising their children today.

On a Monday evening, Rizky Palapa, 32, sat in his living room in Serpong, Banten. His hands, which are usually busy writing reports at a state-owned enterprise office, were busy cutting cardboard into rabbit-, porcupine- and dozens of other animal-shaped puppets.

With the help of his wife, Dea Locita, and their 3-year-old daughter, Clara, he made a mini puppet theater from polystyrene foam.

Clara’s nursery school had invited fathers to participate in the Father’s Day activities, where fathers take turns engaging in activities in their children’s classrooms. On Tuesday, it was Rizky’s turn. He had decided to recount “The Story of a Rabbit” in front of Clara’s classmates. It was a big day for the young family.

“I told my boss and my team that I would show up a little late to the office today since I had to do this storytelling in Clara’s classroom in the morning,” Rizky told The Jakarta Post after he finished his session in front of Clara’s classmates.

The storytelling was successful. It was loud, the children all wanted to touch the puppets and Clara cried at the end of class clinging to her father’s arm so he could stay longer.

"My boss and colleagues are really supportive about this whole parenting thing. As I perform well at the office, once in a while I can get permission to come late to the office when my daughter's school invites me to do a father-daughter activity at school," Rizky said.

Rizky’s wife Dea works in a bank and Rizky understands that with both parents holding down careers they must support each other in sharing their parenting roles.

Bonding with kids is not easy, especially when fathers have to work far from home. One such is Bangun Suryoputro, 35, who works for an oil-and-gas company in Balikpapan, East Kalimantan.

Bangun used to travel back and forth from Jakarta to Balikpapan every two weeks. Shortly after his first daughter was born, seven years ago, he decided to bring his family along to Balikpapan.

"I can’t tell you what the impact is of my bonding with my kids. I don’t know about that. But for me, personally, it's important for me to be close with them. It’s important for me to talk and play with them a lot, share with them my messages, and watch them grow to be kind people in this world," Bangun said.

Bangun’s wife is a stay-at-home mom. Although some traditionalists still believe that it is the mothers who have to take the larger responsibility for raising the children, as they spend more time at home while fathers are busy earning money, Bangun disagrees.

"I don’t agree with people who say that working in an office is more tiring than taking care of your kids at home; the same people usually also say that children are the mother's responsibility. I've done that, taking care of my children during vacations when we all travel together and it's really tiring," he said.

Living in Balikpapan, which does not have crazy traffic like Jakarta, also allows Bangun to drop his children off at school and pick them up when they finish and have lunch together at home before he returns to the office again.

Nov. 12 is Father’s Day in Indonesia and Aliansi Laki-laki Baru (New Men’s Alliance), a community group that strives for women's rights, says that there are more and more fathers nowadays who understand that they have to share roles with their partner in raising their children in the modern world.

However, the coordinator of New Men’s Alliance, Syaldi Sahude, said that Father’s Day in Indonesia must not glorify fathers simply because they work and earn money. Syaldi said that “fathers are more than just ATM machines”.

“We have to change the value of Father’s Day in Indonesia. We should encourage and thank fathers for making time for mothers to grow, for playing with their children after work, for allowing mothers to have some ‘me-time’, for raising their children lovingly,” he said.

Although more fathers have begun to realize the importance of sharing the responsibilities in raising kids, as a nation, Syaldi said Indonesia still had a lot to learn about coparenting.

In the 2003 Manpower Law, for example, male workers are only allowed to take two days’ leave to accompany their wives when they give birth. Some companies take the initiative to give longer paternal leave but most stick to the rules.

Kokok Dirgantoro, the chief executive officer of consulting company Opal Communication and a father of three, takes the former approach. His company allows its employees six months’ maternity leave and a month’s paternity leave.

“I understand the importance of both parents’ roles in the early-life development of children. I also know the importance of the husband in the wife’s wellbeing,” he said.

Child and family psychologist Anna Surti Ariani said that it was important to share parenting roles between both fathers and mothers. That way children will have role models of working together and sharing responsibilities when they grow up.

“Some of my clients come to me with family problems. When I trace back I often find they grew up without role models of how to build a good relationship,” she said. “So it is important to show this aspect to our kids so they can learn to build great relationships in the future.”

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