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In life and death: Caretakers share their stories and struggles

Accompanying someone with chronic disease has never been easy. It is physically exhausting and psychologically draining, both for ordinary people and professional health workers. Life partners and caretakers share their stories.

Johanes Hutabarat (The Jakarta Post)

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Jakarta

Thu, April 8, 2021 Published on Apr. 7, 2021 Published on 2021-04-07T15:58:42+07:00

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Esterina Ribka, a palliative nurse. Beside taking care children with terminal illness, Ribka's presence is crucial in providing psychological support for the family of the patients.

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/o:p>Disclaimer: This story depicts experiences of suicidal thoughts and chronic illnesses that may be upsetting to some. Reader discretion is advised.

There was no laugh on Christine Windarwati's face when she asked her husband, Stefanus Meilarius, whether they should take their own lives, together.

"What if you suddenly die? [...] Never mind, let's just kill ourselves!", the 35-year-old recalls saying to her husband. He was recently diagnosed with a serious illness and she couldn’t bear the thought of him suddenly passing, leaving her to live alone.

"Why?" Christine remembers Stefanus asking her.

"In December, if nothing changes, let's just die together,” was the only retort she could give him.

"It's up to you,” he replied.

"Alright, me first? Or should I kill you first? What kind of suicide methods are we going to use? poison? I'm afraid of pain."