Young and talented singer-songwriter Idgitaf—whose real name is Brigita Meliala (Gita)—attracted both instant and viral popularity in 2020 thanks to the music covers she posted on then-nascent video-oriented social networking service TikTok. To date, her TikTok account has accumulated at least 2.5 million followers and gained more than 54.5 million "likes".

Empowered by her hot-off-the-press fame, she released two original songs on digital streaming platforms: the easy-listening "Hal Indah Butuh Waktu Untuk Datang" (Beautiful Things Need Time) and "Terpikat Senyummu" (Bound by Your Smile). In January 2021, TikTok Indonesia awarded her for being the "Best of Performers" throughout 2020. 

But it was her fourth original song "Takut" (Frightened) that became her biggest hit yet. Released in October 2021, the song was composed akin to a conversation, in which the singer-songwriter talks about her longstanding fear of adulthood. 

The song's chorus, in particular, finds her explicitly listing down her fears (translated in English): "Afraid of growing up / Afraid I'll be disappointed / Afraid things won't be as beautiful as I think / Afraid I won't be as strong as I think."

Nearly four months since its release, "Takut" has garnered at least 14 million plays on Spotify alone. Its music video, in which Gita observes the humdrum lives in Central Jakarta, has attracted more than 13 million views on YouTube.

Independent mind: Idgitaf wrote the entirety of her debut EP with production by Ezra Mandira. (Courtesy of Idgitaf Musik) (Personal Collection/Courtesy of Idgitaf Musik)

Entering 2022, Gita released her debut extended play record (EP) on Jan. 21 titled Semoga Sembuh, which includes "Berlagak Bahagia" (Fake Happy), "Takut", and three new tracks: "Sekuat Sesakit" (Not as Strong as My Pain), "Kasur Tidur" (Mattress) and "Semoga Sembuh" (Get Well Soon). The EP is predominantly a pop record with a few elements of swing, country, folk, spirituals and soft rock. 

Fear of the future

To understand Gita’s songs, perhaps it would be best to first understand her biggest fear: adulthood. For as long as she could remember, the thought of no longer being a child often made her blood run cold. 

"I used to tell my friends that I didn't think I would be able to live long enough to reach my 20s," the now 20-year-old singer-songwriter candidly opened up. "[I felt] I wasn't strong or capable enough."

Turns out, what frightened her specifically was the responsibilities she had to embrace once the childlike innocence fades away and harsh reality kicks in.

"Since I was a kid, my father has always given me a projection: that once I reach a certain age, I am supposed to be this and that. So the reason why I was alarmed by the future was that I already got a ‘sneak peek’ of what was ahead. That the future would not be easy."

Behind the record

Such unease soon became the genesis of Semoga Sembuh: a five-track collection that addresses Gita's fears and all the dark emotions that entail, including pain, shame and desire for escapism. 

The entire EP was solely written by her with the production being handled by Ezra Mandira, a member of the pop group HIVI!, who was "ecstatic" to have the opportunity to produce Gita's debut EP. 

"It wasn't that difficult to work with Gita, basically, because she already knew which direction she wanted to take," he explained.

As for Gita's unique points as an artist, Ezra listed three items: "her distinct vocals, her being a young and outstanding songwriter and storyteller, and her iconic hair color," he ended with a cheeky laugh.

Keen observer

Born to a Batak Karo family in 2001, Gita was first acquainted with music thanks to Indonesian noughties-era pop and punk acts such as Vierra, Project Pop, Killing Me Inside and Endank Soekamti. She soon discovered her knack for singing when she entered middle school. 

For a class assignment, she decided to perform a rendition of Anna Kendrick's "Cups" in front of her fellow classmates—an impromptu performance that, to her surprise, earned her many compliments.

"That was when I realized that my voice is probably quite nice to listen to," she recalled. "I cannot judge my own voice, but when someone praises you for it, well, that's a good sign."

All grown up: Idgitaf's debut EP addresses fear and growing pains of adulthood. (JP/Courtesy of Felix Martua) (JP/Felix Martua)

Gita's passion for performing fully bloomed when she entered high school. She decided to leave the school choir to be a vocalist in a band, believing that the latter would allow her to shine.

"Even though our school choir had racked up so many accomplishments, I was like, 'Who cares? I want to be a star!'" she said, laughing. 

Looking back, Gita described her juvenile self as "supple" and "hard to pin down". At home, however, she had to take a step back from her playfulness and instead, assume the role of a hawk-eyed spectator.

"I'm the youngest kid. I have seen how my siblings grew up, rose and stumbled, made mistakes and so on. I could say that I'm the 'observer' in my family," she remarked.

Social breakout

After proving that she could find the audience for her artistry with millions of followers and views on Spotify and YouTube, it was high time for Gita to properly launch her career as a professional musician. Her first move: refusing record deals from major labels and deciding to pursue the independent path.

"Those labels knew me when I was going viral, so they were hoping that I could do that again," she remarked. "I didn't want that."

Her next bold move was the release of her third original song "Berlagak Bahagia" in July 2021. Solely written by Gita, the upbeat track marked a massive departure from her previous original songs, both lyrically and production-wise. The cabaret-inspired, swinging pop tune finds the budding singer-songwriter tackling heavy emotional themes such as shame, self-loathing and mistrust.

Get well soon: Singer-songwriter Idgitaf drops her debut EP 'Semoga Sembuh' on Jan. 21. (Courtesy of Idgitaf Musik) (Personal Collection/Courtesy of Idgitaf Musik)

In retrospect, Gita was determined to get over what pop music fans might think as she felt adamant to showcase her "bonkers" side as a musician.

"I'm down with following what the market is into at the moment, but I'm not here for the market—I'm here for myself. And the way I saw it, 'Berlagak Bahagia' was indisputably the right song to release," she affirmed.

As if the song's lyrics and production were not shocking enough, the music video for "Berlagak Bahagia" caused another stir due to its narrative. The four-minute flick tells the story of a grown man who suffers from a mental breakdown after suppressing his desire to become a woman. 

Gita saw the video not as a social critique, but instead, her attempt to "simply present the reality".

"If you call it a social critique, that makes it sound like I'm taking sides whereas that is not the case. I was just saying that there are people out there who are going through this. The reality is there are people out there who would feel happy in the body of a gender that is different from theirs. That's not a criticism—that's just reality."

Source of inspiration

For the emotional tone of the album, she was inspired by the hardship and the entailing life lessons that she received during the past year. "Sekuat Sesakit", for instance, was inspired by her observation that she is not the only one suffering from the fear and the growing pains of adulthood.

"Kasur Tidur" marked Gita's first foray into spiritual music as the song finds the young adult analogizing God to a mattress. The inspiration of the song came from her observation of her own mattress.

"It was probably around 2 a.m. or 3 a.m. I was just crying on my bed and then, I thought to myself, 'Mattresses are so underrated. It won't be mad at me whether I am clean or dirty. And once my day is over, I will lie on it, hoping it will recharge me with some energy.' Also, my mattress is the eyewitness—it knows whatever it is that I do that nobody else knows. No matter how messed up I am, my mattress will always accept me."

Gita closed the EP with a hopeful note courtesy of the title track. Drawing inspiration from her older sister's tribulations as an adult, she tried to convey via the title track that even though she cannot be "the cure" for her problems, she still wishes for some sort of convalescence, both physically and mentally.

"My sister knows that I look up to her, so if she falls apart, I will too. It gets me stressed out. I love my sister, but I know that I'm not the remedy that she needs," she said.

Closing the interview, it was time for Gita to answer the most important question: Is she still afraid of being an adult?

"No," she answered confidently. "Because I know I am not alone."

Idgitaf's Semoga Sembuh is available to stream on Spotify and YouTube.