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Women reject polygamy, choosing divorce
Abdul Khalik , THE JAKARTA POST , JAKARTA | Mon, 02/02/2009 9:29 AM | Headlines
An increasing number of Muslim women are choosing to divorce their husbands rather than continue in a polygamous marriage, data from national Islamic courts show.
The courts recorded that in 2006 there were nearly 1000 cases of divorce resulting from wives’ disagreeing with their husbands marrying another woman, an increase from figures in prior years.
Director General for Islamic guidance at the Ministry for Religious Affairs Nasaruddin Umar said Sunday he believed the number of divorce cases linked to disputes over polygamous marriages increased again in 2008 and would continue to rise throughout 2009.
“There has been a significant increase in divorce because women have been rejecting polygamy in recent years,” he said.
Muslim scholar Siti Musdah Mulia said the data indicated Muslim women were becoming increasingly aware of their rights and also more economically independent.
“The data shows women are now daring to fight for their rights and reject male domination. They are now saying, 'What is the point in continuing a marriage when I am miserable'", she said.
Siti, a lecturer at the State Islamic University in Jakarta, said women were becoming more independent and educated, two factors leading to a greater sense of worth and place.
She said Muslim women were becoming increasingly aware of their rights and potential through the tireless efforts of NGOs and women activists who have launched campaigns against polygamy.
“This is a good sign. Efforts by organizations to raise awareness surrounding women's rights has begun to pay off, even with discussions surrounding polygamy seeing a revival among Muslims with the release of the movie Ayat-ayat Cinta (Verses of Love),” said Legislator Nursyahbani Katjasungkana of the National Awakening Party (PKB).
Verses of Love, a film about the conditions experienced by women in polygamous relationships, was one of Indonesia's blockbuster films last year. Along with millions who flocked to see it, President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono and Vice President Jusuf Kalla, also made prominent appearances at cinemas to see the flick.
Many high-ranking officials praised the film while activists accused it of acting as propaganda encouraging polygamy.
Meanwhile, polygamy is on the rise across Indonesia.
The Legal Aid Foundation of the Indonesian Women's Association for Justice (LBH APIK) received 87 reports of polygamy last year, up from 16 in 2007.
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Salma (not verified), USA — Wed, 09/02/2009 - 9:26pm
Islam allows polyagmy to protect women that are widowed, divorced with children etc, Many different women are in different situations and for many of them polyagmy can be helpful, give them financial aid etc. Howver in this day and age not many women are in need of the financial aid, they only want a husband for a good relationship, the love the soul mate, best friend etc. For them to be in a polyagmous marriage would be devastating as they love their husbands so much, and why would she want to share him? I dont agree that polyagmy should be banned as some believe because it does help some unfortunate women in society, but neither should a woman be forced into accepting it against her will. It is a personal choice and personally i would never want to be in polyagous marriage and i would walk out if my future husband( as i am not married now or engaged) decided to have another wife. I would not force him or make him promise not to have another wife as that would be against his wish, i would leave him and advise him to marry women that are ok with this. What is the point of living with a man if he does not share the same views as you? Why live a sad life, its better to be alone than in an unhappy marriage. Its not as though un-married women in developed countries have nothing to do with their time, those in under-developed countries are perhaps better off in polyagmous marriages than being alone, but not in the USA or other similar places. Single women can work, be active in charity organisations, which mind you requires alot of effort and time, they can adopt children etc. Theres many things to do that can make one happy, why waste that time in an unhappy marriage? Many women have managed to become adults without the help of a man, so I'm sure many of us can do without them altogether if need be. (just to note, i dont agree with homosexuality, and im not promoting that.)To conclude, it is upto personal choice, if women even in developed countries are ok with this then that is their lifestyle choice, not one that i would ever adopt or think of doing so, but it is their choice.Tia Maria (not verified), Sudirman, Jakarta — Tue, 03/03/2009 - 4:24pm
Pretty poet, John. It reminds me of Paul I Wellman's thought in "The Female" : Where is the glory of rejecting temptation, when there is no tempation?
It is not the ladies who should cover their bodies extensively, but the men's grace to control their urges. See but do not touch. He he...
It is a shameful and vain attempt to try to hide the beauty of mountains, beaches, and women. Beauty that God gives.
WILFRED JOHN (not verified) — Thu, 02/05/2009 - 12:45am
A DECOLLETAGE ATTRACTS
It is clearly
Impolite to stare
If of their presence
you are aware.
A woman’s breasts
Are surely there
Be they covered
Or be they bare.
But to notice them
Is only fair
If you chance upon
A pretty pair.
A décolletage attracts
Attentive eyes,
And both male and
Female curiosity.
As obviously or
Surreptitiously
We watch to see a
Bosom swell or rise.
This we do without
Fail and instinctively,
And it should not give
Offense or surprise.
If you see a lovely
Bust before your face,
Respectfully admire
Its aesthetic grace.
A glimpse of curve or
Cleavage is a pleasure.
A bosom in full glory
Is a treasure.
WILFRED JOHN
POET
WRITER
JOURNALIST
johnrwilfred2003@yahoo.co.uk
Vinque (not verified) — Tue, 02/03/2009 - 1:33am
These are the real Indonesian women. God bless them!!
Choose freedom!! Not religious imprisonery.
John wilfred (not verified) — Mon, 02/02/2009 - 4:24pm
Not a single sane women would agree to share a husband.
does the men accept to share his wife ?