Men join in the fight against polygamy

Hans David Tampubolon ,  The Jakarta Post ,  Jakarta   |  Mon, 11/02/2009 10:30 AM  |  Headlines

Pro-polygamy groups are now not only facing protest from angry housewives and women's rights activists; a new group of men calling themselves the Men’s Coalition against Polygamy (Kolmi) has also joined the struggle.

Kolmi spokesman Abdul Hamim Fauzie said via a statement in Jakarta on Sunday that the coalition considered the practice of polygamous marriage degrading, not only to women, but to men as well.

“Facts show that polygamy leads to nothing but domestic violence, discrimination and the abuse of human rights,” he said.

“However, polygamists often argue that polygamy is necessary to avoid infidelity and love affairs. They also claim that polygamy is a part of their religious beliefs. Men use these arguments to justify their polygamous practices,” he added.

“They need to know that not all men agree with and support polygamy. For us, the practice only degrades men’s values and dignity.

“The practice labels men as aggressive, egotistical, wild, unfaithful, and worst of all as being unable
to control their libidos,” he said further.

The coalition also said that it regretted a number of discriminative articles in the current marriage law.

“The law legalizes men to have more than one legal wife when their spouses are seriously ill or sexually incapable.

“This is very unfair, especially to women, because the law only accommodates the needs of men,” Abdul said.

Meanwhile, Muslim scholar Siti Musdah Mulia said that people practicing polygamous marriages who quoted verses from the Koran to justify their behavior were misinterpreting the message.

“Those people must not quote the Koran by verse.

They need to read the whole context and understand its real essence before saying the Koran endorses polygamy,” she said.

Musdah said the Koran actually says that Islam aimed to eradicate polygamous practices, not to endorse them.

“Islam considers polygamy an unjust practice that originated in the dark ages. Therefore, Islam sought to eradicate such practices, but due to the severe reaction it caused, it took some time to fully eradicate the practice from the culture at that time,” she said.

“Overall, the Koran says that Islam aims to ensure justice among human beings and in the way they develop relationships from the smallest scale. Justice here means guaranteeing that no one will feel they are being treated unfairly or are being hurt,” she added.

Musdah said that she was not surprised to see that a number of men decided to bond together and fight against polygamy.

“Actually, anti-polygamy figures in the past were mostly prominent male clerics. The Prophet Muhammad himself was very angry when one of his son-in-laws planned to engage in polygamy,” she said.

Recently, controversy has sparked  following an official launch of a polygamy club, dubbed the Global Ikhwan, in Bandung.

The club, originating from Malaysia, cites the noble aim of helping single mothers, reformed prostitutes and aging single women find spouses.

As soon as the club was established, condemnation poured in, especially from housewives and women's activists.

Ironically, the club is chaired by a woman named, Hatijah Binti Am, who has insisted the club could introduce people to the beautiful side of polygamy.

Previously, a number of polygamy scandals have reduced the popularity of public figures engaged in the practise.

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Listen guys, having one wife is hard enough, not only financially but also mentally, especially when she starts nagging, bloody painful. Wondering how you can manage more than one?
Doesn't it say in Holy Koran that if you have more than one wife that you have a better place in Heaven. Didn't Prophet Muhammad had more than one wife but is this degrading to any muslim woman as what i learn and taught is allowed to have more than one wife but maybe then the Holy Koran is wrong what is written in there. What next maybe we be allowed eat pork but i think there are more serious issues to address....
These rational and progressively modern Muslim men are what is needed to bring Reformation to Dark Age Sharia 'laws', that has actually in reality, to do with Dark Age Arabic sadistic-macho culture, rather than a just Islam and a just God! If any men can start from answering the first very simple question - why supposedly God allows men such RIGHT to take many wives, but not for women to take many husbands, then that's a basic step towards a rational debate on why such 'law' exist!
We cannot say whether we agree with polygamy or not because it clear in The Koran mentioned that Polygamy can be done with several requirement. So,when we can met with this requirement, the polygamy can be done and when we aren't meet wit requirement, we cannot do the polygamy. Regarding to the groups who want to support or against polygamy, I think they don't know well the meaning of polygamy.
polygamy is not for disputed, but may do or not do. actually, polygamy may be conducted except can go into effect fair. we may not prohibit the others to do so, we may not promote that it may not. when we cannot go into effect fair enough just we do not conduct it. Allah SWT do not prohibit the polygamy, why we will prohibit polygamy. Please, don't look for the justification
Tami Koestomo The Muslim scholar Siti Musdah Mulia is absolutely right. It’s a real pity this sagacious and obviously very intelligent and warm-hearted Muslim lady hasn’t become the top leader in the MUI yet. Somehow the picture that comes strongly to mind upon reading this article is the first wife of Muslim cleric Abdullah Gymnastiar (Aa Gym) bravely trying to bite back scalding tears as she publicly announces her approval of her husband taking a second wife - and, recently, seeing the tears of her elderly Father as he states that his son-in-law hasn't visited him in 2 years. Tami Koestomo, Bogor.

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