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cientists will soon confirm that Donald Trump’s ego is now the fourth largest object in the Solar System, after Jupiter, Saturn and Uranus. But unlike them, it’s still growing at rapid speed, and could overtake Uranus as early as 2017. Or so I reckon.

But while one expects business people to have massive egos, there are even bigger egotists I reckon in the so-called “creative” professions. Maria Montez, one of the top actresses of the 1940s, was a case in point.

“When I look at myself, I am so beautiful, I scream with joy,” she said. She must have been rather difficult to live with. I guess her family would have had to explain to guests: “Don’t worry about the screaming, it happens every time Maria passes a reflective surface.” I imagine her husbands (she had two) never took her to the mirrors department of the local department store: “Aiee! I am so beautiful. Arrrggghhh!”

A soulmate of the actress would be the ponderous writer Milan Kundera, author of The Unbearable Lightness of Being, who announced: “I find myself fascinating.”

Then there was the painter Salvador Dali. He told interviewers: “Every morning when I wake up, I experience an exquisite joy: the joy of being Salvador Dalí!” He explained that when he realized that he himself was he himself, so to speak, he would go into a state of astonished ecstasy. It tended to happen at the start of each day. He said: “And I ask myself in rapture: What wonderful things this Salvador Dalí is going to accomplish today?”

But you know, there are some self-aggrandizing statements I can forgive. Movie comedian Jerry Lewis once said: “People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.” I let him off (a) he’s kind of mocking himself, but (b) his description of himself is actually pretty accurate. A generation later, director Mel Brooks did the same thing: “I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I’m one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know. “

They say that the biggest ego in the creative sector worldwide is Oprah Winfrey. She doesn’t seem to have any ability to be ironic about herself. When she says that she worships herself, she actually means it. Here are four lines from Oprah’s own mouth, quoted in the book Oprah: A Biography by Kitty Kelley. 1) “I really like me, I really do.” 2) “When you mention great actresses, you’ll have to say my name.” 3) “I know people really, really love me, love me, love me.” 4) “I think I’m just becoming more of myself, which is better than anybody can imagine.”

Kelley also reveals that Oprah refers to herself in the third person. “Oprah does not walk,” Oprah said. “Oprah does not do stairs,” Oprah added. One is tempted to add: “Oprah may wish to consider why Oprah often ends up worrying about Oprah’s weight problem.”

On stage once, I used Maria Montez’s opening line. “When I look at myself, I am so beautiful, I scream with joy.” At least I got a laugh. — Nury Vittachi