Maya, who lives in Singapore and asked to be identified only by her nickname, worries that her family will discover her choice to remain childless if her real name is revealed. She and her husband have been married for six years and, like most Indonesians, face expectations that they will have children.

“When a family member offers a prayer for us to have kids, we just smile and thank them,” she said.    

Maya said a childhood trauma caused her to sometimes engage in harmful behaviors toward her partner and herself. Her husband suffers from a hereditary disease that began showing its symptoms as he entered his late 20s.

The risk of passing on her trauma and her husband’s genetic disorders caused them to decide to forego children altogether.

“I do not want to hurt a human being by forcing them to be born into this world and putting them in [the same] position [that I am in]. My husband, of course, does not want to pass on his disease,” said Maya.

Maya is not alone. In fact, more and more Indonesians have opted out of parenthood for various reasons. Some of them created a private Facebook group in 2016, which now has some 300 members.

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