When the Zoom call started, Oliver’s face and his blue-striped shirt were surrounded by the morning light. He said he was well.

“It's a really beautiful sunny day here in London, so I'm happy,” he said with a smile to The Jakarta Post on Aug. 4.

His radiant aura during the interview perhaps seems like the polar opposite of the cover of his upcoming solo album—out on Sept. 9—titled Hideous Bastard, which shows Oliver’s slitted and bloody face.

“I've loved horror since I was a kid, and that's not a shared interest in [our band] The xx,” said Oliver, vocalist and bassist of England’s beloved minimalist indie pop outfit. After bandmates Jamie xx and Romy made their names as solo acts several years prior, this time Oliver was ready for it.

“I've never really been able to show that [love for horror], so this was my opportunity.”

And Oliver went all in. Along with the thematic album, he also played the lead monster in a short film he made with director Yann Gonzalez based on his song “Hideous”, which premiered at the Cannes Film Festival and received a standing ovation.

“The music was inspiring the short queer horror film I was making, but making the film also inspired the music,” he said.

“And to be able to become the monsters in Buffy the Vampire Slayer that I watched as a kid, to have three inches of prosthetics on my face, was really living a dream I've had for a long time.”

Going alone: One-third of The xx, vocalist and bassist Oliver Sim finally goes solo with a debut album full of horror pop sounds. (Courtesy of Casper Sejersen) (Courtesy of Casper Sejersen/Courtesy of Casper Sejersen)

Not hiding anymore

The album’s first single, “Romance With a Memory”, with its layered vocals of Oliver’s deep, grimy tone, already gives a hint of the music’s horrorcore. However, once the piano kicks in, it turns out to be a dance jam—also apparent in the song’s music video where drag queens gloriously strut down the road in futuristic monster costumes.

“Horror, to me, doesn't just have to be dark and scary. It can also be absurd, camp, funny and meaningful,” Oliver said.

But how the concept initially took shape in Oliver’s solo sound became clearer as the other songs came out—it’s not just in the aesthetics. “Fruit” finds Oliver fighting his shame within the household for being gay, while “Hideous” reveals that he has been living with HIV since he was 17 years old, asking the listener, “Am I hideous?”

“I didn't start this record knowing what the themes were going to be, but I'd written a handful of songs and I knew there was a common thread, which was writing about shame,” he said. “And ‘Hideous’ is me realizing that this is probably the thing that I'm most ashamed of.”

Although “Hideous” came late during the album’s creation, Oliver said that he had written the song three years ago, impulsively.

“When I first wrote it, where I was in my life, I wasn't very open,” he shared. “I have experienced a great deal of shame, whether that be about my HIV status, or about my sexuality, or just about myself in general, [that prompted me] to pull back even further.”

But as he went on to make the album, he started to feel differently.

“Now, I had spent years speaking to people about it and feeling a bit more at ease and being a bit more open,” added the 33-year-old.

Main actor: Oliver Sim plays the lead role in his and director Yann Gonzalez' short film 'Hideous'. (YouTube/Courtesy of Oliver Sim) (YouTube/Courtesy of Oliver Sim)

Finding his own sound/self

Starting together in 2005, The xx has made its name across the globe for its electronic, moody sounds that led it to win the United Kingdom’s distinguished Mercury Prize for its debut album. And it is this sound that Oliver has been making since he was 15.

“At the beginning of making this record, I had an identity crisis because I was like, ‘Who am I if I’m not one-third of The xx? What do I sound like? What are the ways that I work in?’” he expressed.

Doing it alone, Oliver felt, was exciting and terrifying at the same time.

“So many of the feelings I'm feeling now remind me of that first band record we did in 2009 of just pure naivety, of ‘I don't know where this is going to take me’ or ‘How is it going to be received?’ It’s nice to feel those feelings again,” he said.

And he has befriended (very) big names along the way, too, from Elton John, Perfume Genius, to Jimmy Somerville, the latter being featured on “Hideous” as the album’s opening track.

“I reached out to him just as a fanboy. I messaged him, ‘Hi, Mr. Summerville. My name is Oliver. I'm in a band called The xx. I’m a big fan, How are you?’ And we spoke for months before I even mentioned, ‘Could we work together?’ And so we kind of formed a friendship,” he shared.

Getting in touch with these queer artists has been “a privilege”, he said. But the biggest thing Oliver took away from his friendship with them is their view of the world, and themselves.

“I think a common thread between people like Jimmy and Elton is a certain type of sense of humor,” he said. “It’s quite like a dark sense of humor, which is knowing how to be savage to oneself and the world outside but just keeping it playful. And I think that is the way to deal with life.”

The beauty in horror

After all the self-reflections and interactions with music legends, the sound that Oliver ended up carving is—in the end—the one that feels closest to him. It can be heard in the strings, the orchestration and the samples. One second after the single “GMT” kicks in, Brian Wilson’s ethereal harmony surrounds Oliver’s distinctive vocal.

“Brian Wilson, The Beach Boys, that's my childhood as well. Their harmony is so beautiful, they’re so masculine but they're also so romantic and tender,” he gushed.

Brian Wilson’s legendary Smile record was one of the songs Oliver played during his road trip in Australia with bandmate Jamie, who produced his album.

“Some sampling isn't just using a song because it sounds good, but it's because you have an emotional connection or memory locked in,” he explained, wanting to save that moment of being with Jamie in a song.

“Romy inspires me, Jamie inspires me, and making my own album has made me more excited than ever to work with them again on another The xx record.”

Though what Oliver shares in the songs are greatly personal, every track feels like it has its own soundscape and personality. It might just tell what Oliver really gravitates toward in horror movies: The characters.

“The characters I love are monsters or certain types of monsters like Patrick Bateman from American Psycho or Norman Bates [from Psycho], or Buffalo Bill from The Silence of the Lambs who are all kind of repressed queers,” he shared.

But with more listens, it is clear that these songs, however grim and dark, have a hopeful tone to them. Celebratory, in fact—to which Oliver agreed.

“Writing about fear and shame hasn't been like a pity party. It has been the opposite of fear and shame. Fear and shame, for me, is [a form of] hiding; it's trying to conceal, and this is the opposite,” he said.

“And the impact that making this album has had on my life has been so positive, cathartic and joyful. I hope that shows in the music because, though there are melancholic moments, there's also a lot of joy to be had,” he added. 

“Fear and shame sound heavy, but this is a joyful album to me. And I hope people take that and have that experience listening to it.”