L

iving within court circles didn’t turn Raden Ayu (RAy) Febri Hapsari Dipokusumo into an icon of conservatism.

In fact, the daughter-in-law of King of Surakarta Paku Buwono XII comes across as a modern and busy Javanese woman who also upholds Javanese traditional values.

“Modern women are educated, dynamic and committed to their families. This commitment is very important… Many intelligent women ignore their dedication to their spouses and children,” said the wife of Gusti Pangeran Haryo (GPH) Dipokusumo.

Time-honored Javanese values pertaining to women’s role, in her view, remain very relevant today. She made reference to the (Javanese) teaching that calls a wife kanca wingking (rear partner). Febri said the words used to imply a wife was only responsible for domestic duties. In the modern context, a wife also assumes the role of a discussion partner.

“Women should thus be educated to promote their personal qualities. Remember that behind every great man is a great woman as well,” added the attractive lady who is nearing her 40s.

According to Febri, women claiming to be modern need to do a little self-examination. Many of them think they have to be on a par with — and even beat men, thus practicing emancipation as an emotion to challenge men.

“It’s good for women to pursue careers but [they should] never forget their families. While they may be corporate directors, at home they should also be aware of their position as wives and mothers. They must never treat their husbands as servants,” she maintained.

Febri pointed out that national heroine Kartini fought so women could be given the opportunity to receive an education to enhance their qualities. Only in this way would they be able to bring up well-balanced children.

Therefore, continued Febri, women’s lib arose as a consequence of the enhanced qualities they displayed in their social lives, rather than as a means to beat or challenge the opposite sex.

“Women joining the police is a manifestation of feminism. They become policewomen after training in the police academy. They’re educated, passing their exams and improving themselves as members of the corps. It’s a simple example.”

Febri is committed to women’s education and emotional balance as she regards both aspects as the founding elements of beauty in Javanese women. Born to a noble family from Solo, also known as Surakarta, Febri knows only too well about the Javanese concept of feminine beauty.

“The beauty of Javanese women comes from the inside rather than the outside, so inner beauty should be expressed in order to achieve total harmony,” explained the woman born in Surabaya on Feb. 2, 1972.

Febri was brought up under strict Javanese rules and ethics. Her father, Kanjeng Pangeran Haryo (KPH) Hartono Brotoasmoro, works for the state-run oil company Pertamina, while her mother, Raden Ayu (RAy) MB Hartuti, is a housewife who knows everything there is to know about Javanese women, and from whom Febri has learned a great deal.

Febri is also fortunate enough to have modern and moderate parents despite their noble background. They gave Febri the freedom to acquaint herself with the outside world. After her marriage, her husband, GPH Dipokusumo, never restricted her activities.

“But of course I follow ethical norms. I’m free but responsible, more or less,” said Febri.

She has also researched in depth — since her teenage years — what makes Javanese women beautiful, what primbon (supernatural handbooks) say about women, and Javanese Kama Sutra.

“My mother was my first teacher. Many women still understand beauty superficially and cosmetically. I admire educated, intelligent and quality women who bring up smart children as well,” she indicated.

In the spirit of Kartini, Febri has shared her Javanese-style beauty method with the public. In 2005, she set up the Motivation Training & Personal Development Program, an institute encouraging women to improve their inner as well as outer beauty. Instead of offering beauty services like spa, lulur (rice power bath) and cream bath, her program provides training on how to bring out the aura of inner beauty.

“It’s a character building program for women. Our new definition is that beauty is harmony between our body, mind and spirit. All this can be achieved through meditation, consuming jamu [herbal drugs], ethical norms and so forth. We’ve got to strive for beauty as we strive for success,” said Febri at her residence in Sasono Mulyo within the Court of Kasunanan Surakarta.

In the first few years, participants mainly came from Surakarta. Now they come from various cities, including in East Java.

“They’re mostly interested in the concept of Javanese beauty, especially meditation and the art of body movement. While it started off as a woman-only course, the program now has male trainees focusing on personality development,” said the graduate of Airlangga University, Surabaya.

Her interest in women’s qualities and character building also prompted her to manage the Putra-Putri Solo contests that handpicks Mr & Miss Solo as the city’s cultural and tourism envoys and as part Yayasan Putri Indonesia, a foundation for Miss Indonesia.

“The position of Putra-Putri Solo can’t be instantly achieved. Candidates may also lose in running for Putri Indonesia, but they have to be prepared properly. The will learn that beauty doesn’t happen overnight. They are Javanese so should be njawani [reflecting Javanese beauty],” said Febri, who has chaired the Putra-Putri Solo Association since 2001.