G

arut is a town in West Java famous for its dodol, a yummy fudge-like sweet made from glutinous rice, palm sugar and coconut milk. It’s sweet, sticky and thick — and comes in original, chocolate, sesame seed, durian and pineapple flavors, among others.

Garut recently became famous for another kind of dodol, this time flavored by scandal. Aceng Fikri, 40, the elected head of Garut regency, notoriously (and allegedly illegally) married a 17-year-old girl as his second wife — and then divorced her four days later by SMS. She was not a virgin, he claimed, and therefore “didn’t meet the promised specifications so I sent her back”.

What? Does he think she’s vacuum cleaner or microwave oven that you can return to the manufacturer if it has a defect?

“Aceng” sounds very much like the Indonesian slang for “erection”, but why is the regent of Garut also a dodol? It so happens that dodol is also slang for dumb, foolish, idiotic, inconsistent, weak, irritating, egotistical and clueless (and any other unflattering traits you may wish to include). Aceng’s thickness certainly makes him very much like the Garut delicacy, and his disgraceful and reprehensible behavior landed him in a dodol-like sticky situation.

The difference is there’s no sweetness at all in the short-lived marriage for Aceng; for his recently divorced ex-wife (who reported him to the police for domestic violence and fraud, as he had claimed he was a widower); or for we Indonesians, shamed by such a dodol leader.

In fact, the Aceng SMS divorce case was met with massive public outrage, with protestors in Garut spitting and trampling on Aceng’s pictures before burning them outside the local council building. Even the usually treacly slow President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono (SBY) was quick to condemn Aceng, saying his “brief marriage to a teenage girl was indecent”. Duh!

Now why doesn’t Mr. SBY act with the same speediness when dealing with the conflict between the Corruption Eradication Commission (KPK) and the police, or, for that matter, the rampant corruption in his own Democratic Party?

And while Aceng is obviously an embarrassment as a human being, let alone a leader, what about all the other dodol leaders we have? Indonesia is currently truly facing a serious leadership deficit and while Aceng is an extreme example, he’s just a variation on a theme, sad to say.

When political leadership degenerates into comedy central, that’s when we know the nation is in trouble. And clearly we are in trouble. The proof? The National Awakening Party (PKB) announced it was considering nominating Rhoma Irama, the self-proclaimed king of dangdut, as a presidential candidate. He was personally endorsed by Manpower and Transmigration Minister Muhaimin Iskandar, the PKB chairman. And now they’re even planning a National Awakening concert. Right, that should solve all the nation’s problems!

If you recall, Rhoma Irama is the polygamously married guy who strongly supported the controversial, oppressive and divisive Pornography Law. He was also responsible for SARA (ethnicity, religion, race and intergroup affiliation) slurs against Basuki “Ahok” Tjahaja Purnama, the ethnic Chinese Christian who was Jakarta gubernatorial candidate Joko “Jokowi” Widodo’s running mate.

To test his qualifications as Indonesia’s national leader, Najwa Shihab, the talkshow host of “Mata Najwa” (Najwa’s Eyes), interviewed Rhoma. Known for putting interviewees in the hot seat, Najwa did just that to Rhoma, simply by asking him about some basic public issues: the fuel-subsidy issue, state budget allocations and the dissolution of BPMigas (the upstream oil and gas regulator).

Obviously very nervous and repeatedly licking his lips, Rhoma flubbed all his answers. To the question about fuel subsidies, he insisted he wasn’t an “oil expert”. “To be a president doesn’t mean you have to be superman, who knows everything,” he said, “because you have ministers”. So, you can be an ignoramus and be the president of Indonesia? Rhoma thinks so.

In fact, he believes he is qualified to lead the nation because he has guided it through his songs for years. On that basis America would have put Elvis in the White House.

I’d have to agree with Najwa’s remark at the beginning of the interview that it’s all part of the usual year-end comedy.

As the 2014 presidential elections approached, she said, we had to accept melodrama, soap opera, power-fever, old faces that just wouldn’t go away and instant me-too figures, like Rhoma. Perhaps he should ask his fellow polygamist, Aceng, to be his vice-presidential candidate?

Joking aside, it seems clear that Indonesia is facing a serious leadership deficit. Where are the leaders with vision, integrity, dedication, responsibility, humility, openness, fairness, enthusiasm, reliability, patience, decisiveness, loyalty, courage and, of course, a grasp of the pressing issues facing the nation and the ability and political will to do something about it? Not in power, that’s for sure.

And while none of the existing presidential candidates can top Rhoma or Aceng for thick-skinned ignorance and foolishness, many are indecisive, opportunistic, corrupt, ego-centered and petty. In fact, most seem more interested in power-mongering than in tackling the complex problems the nation faces.

In 2000, I wrote an essay entitled “The Leaders We Deserve” about how the leaders we have are a reflection of ourselves. Twelve years later, am I to come to the same conclusion again? Are we really doomed to be a dodol nation?

The writer (juliasuryakusuma.com) is the author of Jihad Julia.