At a news conference ahead of Sunday's season-ending Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, Hamilton said he did not fully grasp the difficulties he would face during his final season with the Silver Arrows.

"I think ultimately, definitely I anticipated it would be difficult, but I massively underestimated how difficult it would be," said Hamilton, who has spent the past 12 years with Mercedes. "It was straining on the relationship very early on. It took time for people to get over, get past it."

Hamilton said it was emotional from the start of the season and his decision put a strain on his camaraderie with his teammates and team principal Toto Wolff.

"The first meeting with Toto at the beginning of the year was awkward, of course," Hamilton said. "So it was awkward from the get-go."

"The day after, I took some of the team paintballing and they had just found out. So there have been loads of moments through the year. I got lots of shots [from] people, I had loads of bruises. People went in on me that day."

Hamilton, 39, has won twice this year, but his latest victory was July 28 at the Belgian Grand Prix. He has finished in the top 5 three times in the past nine races. He believes he has struggled to handle the emotional weight after his announcement.

"I think this year, and so many of you have been here my whole career, so some of you I think you've all seen the worst of me and seen the best of me," Hamilton said.

"I'm not going to apologize for either because I'm only human and I don't always get it right. And I would definitely say this year has been one of the worst in terms of handling that from my side, which I'll work on trying to be better at."

Hamilton changed teams once before in his illustrious career, leaving McLaren after the 2012 season. But his success with Mercedes, with 84 wins and 78 pole positions, makes his move much more emotional.

"It definitely wasn't as painful and difficult as this year has been in terms of the emotions," said Hamilton, who has 105 victories in his career. "I think because it was at the end of the year, it was much quicker and there wasn't enough time for it to really settle in for anyone, I think, within the team.

"So this one's much more emotional because I've been with the team so long and we've been through so much together."

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