For the past few months, Indonesian queer life seems to have taken center stage in the news headlines. From a film festival to a homicide case to party animals, the city is alive with all colors of the "rainbow".

First, we have the 7th Q! Film Festival organized by the Q-munity in Jakarta that just ended last week. The event not only showed various movies related to LGBTIQ (Lesbian-Gay-Bisexual-Transgender-Intersex-Questioning) issues but it also gave audiences space to express their thoughts through deep discussion in Q-Gossip. Visitors were able to view pieces of beautiful art in the Q-Photo Exhibition, read and hear meaningful writings in Q-Literature and take moments to chat with some of the filmmakers as well. All of these amazing programs were open to the public for free!

Organizing a Q! event in a country that is not open about gay-ness must not have been easy. Despite the "G" word having the meaning "happy, jolly and sometimes silly", being gay is often far from easy (no, I'm not referring to our high maintenance issues involving beauty treatments and toiletries).

It's not about choice for us either. As we were born "different" from others, we have to cope with that difference often in denial, alone and silent, often being the only person who knows this unspoken truth. A question resounds repeatedly as we grow up through our teens into adulthood: "Can we be honest about it to ourselves and to people around us?" Quite often the answer is "no" and it becomes one of the hardest issues to face in our entire life.

Under every gay person's skin the major issue is the fear of being judged and discriminated against by society, friends and family. Many gays prefer to "shut up" and go about living two lives or staying put inside that closet. In G-words they're described as discreet, curious, bi, married gay and questioning.

Ironically, as awareness of homosexuality rises with such festivals, the media seemed to be discriminative against homosexuality with irrelevant highlights on sexual orientation of the suspect -- a gay man -- of the instantly popular murder case that is getting front pages and airtime. This overexposed, sad breaking news will not help overcome the strong discriminative attitude toward gay men and lesbian women in Indonesia. To create sensation? Maybe. But to change? I'm not sure.

The general publicity on homosexuality still labels homosexuals as shameful, embarrassing. This places more pressure on those in the gay community to "hide and not be proud".

But who can hide their desires for too long when we live in the golden G-age with so many choices and ways to realize our secrets from backstreet secret hook-ups to Internet chat rooms for every fetish? Lately gay existence here is becoming more noticeable and people see that denial has been replaced with freedom and pride. It's getting G-hot in *eeere!

More and more girlfriends of mine have doubts over guys' sexuality and will ask for my G-scan to check if the guy they're going to date is secretly GBQ. (Yes, believe me, among us there are those that instinctively have G-radar to detect if someone is "one of us" or not). I think it's a wise move from the girls to use G-scan. Anyway, not every guy they fancy is straight! Right on, gal friend, we know G-bonbon is your number one best friend before diamonds.

In gay la-la land on the other side of the city, another gay lifestyle is swinging with parties, high teas, clubs and cruising spots. The boys here get raunchier and sweatier, their bodies wrapped in tight colorful tank tops and their bubble-butts shaking fiercely on the floor doing their G-dance with their G-drink, G-cigarette, flashing their latest G-hair style. Some compete to climb onto the tables to boogie-woogie as well. Here everyone wants to hog the spotlight and no one seems to mind taking off their tops anymore. Welcome to the G-world.

I've probably been-there-done-that too many times in my past to remember or perhaps I began my G-life too early, but the new G-eneration seems to have a more expressive, daring, bold and spontaneous attitude. Is Jakarta gradually opening up more to accepting its gay community? Where have these spirits been hiding all this time? Whatever my gag is, the local gay movement today evidently has made huge progress in moving from "behind the screen" to "front-page darling".

Hate us or love us, we regard a gay lifestyle as straight although most often we have a bit more of a flare for "creativity" and "flexibility" *wink*. So stop judging and associating gay life as being negative.

Understand that we deserve the same right to live happily and be treated fairly as does anyone in our multicultural society. So why not give the new G-era in Indonesia a chance to grow, anyone?

-- Diaz

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