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lying into Kuala Lumpur, I sat next to a smug-looking Western tourist who had donned baggy trousers and a cone-shaped straw hat so he could blend in with the locals. I gently broke the news to him that everyone in Kuala Lumpur wears Prada except for destitute homeless people, who wear Gucci.

'€œOh,'€ he said, and then asked about Delhi, his following destination. I told him: '€œMen wear a special Indian line called Lungi by Marc Jacobs, set off by Ermenegildo Zegna turbans.'€

It'€™s easy to torment Western tourists, since they usually know nothing about Asia.

A reader from Indonesia said that she told her UK Facebook friend that she lived in a high rise block in a housing estate. The British girl assumed this meant she was poor. '€œThen she visited me and was amazed that in Asia, high-rise apartments on housing estates are where rich people live,'€ she said.

It'€™s really true: East is East and West is West. In the US, political correctness is taken so seriously that it is now illegal for males to greet female colleagues. Men have to drop to their knees and shuffle along with their eyes averted, like people visiting the King of Thailand. But in India, bosses still say things like: '€œGood morning, Ms Rao, you are looking very sexual in your tight blouse today.'€

The following day I received an email from reader Matt Cooper, a British guy living in Hong Kong. His children had to bring a cake to school, so he headed for the kitchen to make one.

The next day his scrumptious home-made masterpiece languished neglected on the table at school while people wolfed down the mass-produced cakes local parents had brought. '€œEww,'€ parents whispered to one another. '€œThat poor man can'€™t afford to buy one.'€

On another occasion, Matt went to a party dominated by Westerners. They had eagerly eaten all the homemade cakes but totally ignored the one shop-bought cake. '€œEww,'€ parents whispered. '€œOne poor parent is too lazy to make one.'€

Where do these East-West differences come from? This column will solve this age-old mystery by the classic journalistic method of calling '€œexperts'€ and hoping they may actually know something.

The first person I asked spent half a day researching at a university but couldn'€™t find an answer other than the fact that it might be something to do with trousers. Historically, Western men have worn trousers and Asian men haven'€™t. '€œWestern males'€™ overheated genitalia might make a difference,'€ she said.

A researcher in Thailand said there were deep psychological differences. Consider a typical Western proverb, such as this one from Germany: '€œHe who likes cherries soon learns to climb.'€ Then consider a typical Asian proverb such as this one from Thailand: '€œOne day, the orange will fall.'€

I thought he was about to explain that it was all down to fruit choices, but no. '€œMost Westerners evolved in places with long winters, while most Asians evolved in places with no winters,'€ he said. So Westerners have a seize-the-day attitude while Asians have a softly-softly wait-and-see approach.

So there we have it, an ancient mystery solved. And this may also explain the evolution of trousers. Gotta keep those genitalia warm.

The writer is a frequent traveler and columnist.