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hildren with special needs are vulnerable to violence, mostly committed by their overwhelmed, helpless parents, according to a psychologist, a situation exacerbated by a dearth of help for parents of such children.

Annelia Sari Sani, a psychologist from the Harapan Kita Mother and Child Hospital, told The Jakarta Post recently that children with special needs acted in ways that made their parents lose control, leading to violent outbursts. The parents, she said, lacked understanding of their children'€™s needs, and misinterpreted the behavior as willfully naughty.

'€œ[Violence] happens. When the children can'€™t control themselves and the parents can'€™t control their emotions, fatal collisions occur.'€

Parents of children who do not have special needs but are more active than others of the same age also have to make greater efforts to handle their children.

Fitri, a 37-year-old resident of Depok in West Java, said she had to be extra patient in handling her 5-year-old son Raffi because he could not stay still in any situation.

The housewife said she often lost patience with her son and found herself scolding him.

'€œHe can'€™t sit still, especially when he is studying. His playgroup teacher has said she has to spend extra time on Raffi as he always runs around before studying,'€ Fitri said.

However, Raffi is a normal boy and does not indicate any serious mental deviation, such as hyperactive disorder.

Parents, Anne said, were sometimes quick to label such children troublemakers, or criticize them as lazy, naughty and undisciplined

'€œParents need to pay extra attention and take more time to understand their children'€™s behavior. They have to find out why their children are '€˜naughty'€™. Are they really behaving badly or are the parents expecting too much of them?'€

She added that parents sometimes needed counseling when they felt close to losing control and were struggling to restrain themselves from physically abusing their children.

In the US, parents can call a hotline for parenting assistance. The hotline provides emotional support and referrals for parents to help them cope with parenting challenges; it also gives information about raising children and appropriate expectations of child behavior.

In Australia, meanwhile, parents in New South Wales can call Parent Line, a hotline providing counseling, information and referral services for parents to cope with family violence.

'€œUnfortunately, Indonesia does not have any such counseling or hotline numbers,'€ Anne said.

Indonesia does, however, have numerous institutions and NGOs focusing on children with special needs and their parents, including trauma-counseling foundation Yayasan Pulih, the National Commission for Child Protection (Komnas PA), and the Indonesian Child Protection Commission (KPAI).

'€œBut they just deal with trauma recovery. For help with parenting in real time, we don'€™t have any [institutions],'€ Anne said.

The Jakarta administration launched an autism center a year ago in Cipayung, East Jakarta, providing free assistance for children with special needs from low-income families. Unfortunately, its service provision has been hamstrung by legal uncertainty.

In January, Culture and Elementary and Secondary Education Minister Anies Baswedan announced a plan to establish a parenting education directorate to help guide parents to assist their children in learning processes.

However, NGO activists dismissed the plan as unnecessary.

Anne said that parents had a duty to seriously examine their children'€™s behavior and understand that all children had their own needs in line with their development.

'€œEven if their children'€™s needs are particularly special, the parents should know what to do and not blame [their children] arbitrarily,'€ she said.

Recently, the Jakarta Police detained a mother of three from South Jakarta for abusing her second child, a 12-year-old boy. The mother, who tested positive for drug use, according to the police, had told the police that the boy was '€œhyperactive'€. (foy)