Eky Rizkani, who performs under the stage name Reruntuh (wreckage) has been thinking a lot about God lately.

Why?

"I have no idea!" the 24-year-old said with a nervous chuckle in an interview on July 25.

Later, however, he revisited the question and offered a weightier answer.

"There was a period in life when I felt like the life that I led was not pleasant – and perhaps it would always stay that way," he said.

"I had actually made peace with that. I had made peace with all the inequalities and the social standards and the life's realities that I loathed. But then – and I don't know how – so many things came to my life and made it more amazing."

Sure enough, Eky has come a long way since his days hustling as a self-taught musician and producer. His professional success during the pandemic granted him not only a new appreciation for life, but also the determination to elevate his career to the next level. 

In contrast to his typically somber work, Eky's latest album, Water Will Find Me, which was released digitally on July 22, is an ode to hopeful days to come – both on a professional and personal level.

A musician's responsibility

The past few years have been dynamic for Eky, to say the least. While he, along with his fellow indie musicians, endured the tribulations of the pandemic, he remained productive and released the self-produced EP Learning How Not to Die in March of last year – a dark pop four-track collection in which the musician addressed his inner turmoil and recurring trauma.

His profile became more mainstream, however, when he produced folk-pop singer-songwriter Nadin Amizah's 2021 EP Kalah Bertaruh (A Losing Game). The mini album received critical acclaim, receiving an Anugerah Musik Indonesia (AMI) Award nomination for Best Pop Album in the same year. 

Eky acknowledged that while he felt "fortunate" for the recognition, his newfound fame was not easy to get used to.

"So many things have happened in the past couple of years," Eky reflected. "When I thought life was 'A', in a matter of months something happened and as it turned out, life was 'B'. And then, in the following month, life turned out to be 'C'. So many things to deal with."

The Jakarta native has come to feel that someone – or something – has been and will always be watching over him.

"Someone out there is watching over us, God or our creator. That's what I've felt during the past couple of years. Every time I feel like my time is up or things will go totally south, I feel like something will lift us up again," he said. 

Finding himself with a new appreciation for life, Eky decided it was time to make a change in his music career. Even though he had made multiple records – his 2021 EP and, two years before, his debut full-length album Runtuh, Tumbuh (Fall, Grow) – they had all been strictly delivered in a digital format and had never been performed in front of a live audience. 

That was why, for his next musical venture, he was keen to be more “responsible”, as he put it.

"After Learning How Not to Die and Nadin's EP came out, I got to meet these kindhearted people who gave me a chance and basically made my life more beautiful. And music was the bridge that made it happen,” Eky said. “But once I tried to ruminate on it, I was like, 'What did I do to receive all of this?' And I have no answer to that. I consider all of this a blessing, but it is time for me to give back. Giving back as in releasing my work properly and committing to my responsibilities as a musician."

A musician's contemplation

Eky began working on what would eventually be titled Water Will Find Me in secret. To showcase his "actualization as a musician", he felt that, unlike his typical creative process, it was imperative to use "more time, more energy, more materials and more contemplation".

He also decided to showcase the album in front of a live audience and release it in a physical format.

"The time of being desultory has passed. If I continued being like that, it would be an extreme insult to people who can only dream [of being a musician]. That would be a massive offense," he said.

After reflecting on the recent changes in his life, he decided to settle on his relationship with God and self-redemption as the theme of the album. Eky chose “Dan Terang” (And Light) as the album's lead single, an atmospheric, guitar-driven piece that runs for 10 minutes and 15 seconds, making it the longest track of the album. 

Lyrically, he addresses how a certain higher power has transformed his life for the better: "Dan terang bertahan / Saat waktu lirih hilang / Tak berpulang, lirih hilang / Selamanya" (And light remains / The gloomy time has gone / Nothing dies, gloom has gone / Forever). 

Eky's experience as a medical student further informed the reverent and hopeful spirit of the song.

"A hospital is a place where you encounter people whose lives are currently being touched by God," he remarked. 

"Some are touched with illness and some are touched with miracles so that they can fight to live another day. It has significantly, though indirectly, influenced how I perceive life."

In retrospect, however, Eky believed that "God" might be too "sharp" of a word, and that the phrase "bigger things" might be the better expression to describe the higher power that he felt reigned over humanity.

"As humans, we might never be able to understand 'God'," he said.

Water serves as a recurring symbol throughout the album, most evident in tracks such as "Percik/Sisa" (Splash/Puddle), "Retak/Ruak" (Crevice/Crack), "The Way of The River" and "Everything at Peace" – something that Eky claimed occurred "subconsciously". 

He found himself relating water to life itself, exploring how life's challenges were akin to the ebb and flow that occurs in a body of water.

"Life is vast and complex and there are so many things you can never understand. To say that 'I will find life' would be so arrogant. But, if it is 'Life will find me' instead, perhaps that's more appropriate," Eky said, alluding to the title of the album.

Eky felt some things should remain the same, regardless of the ups and downs of a career. His focus on ambient and post-rock music, he said, was one of them, even though he had proven himself that he could produce pop music. 

Moreover, he stuck to sparse lyricism in Water Will Find Me. He was particularly influenced by Japanese composer and producer, Ryuichi Sakamoto. As a film composer, he won an Academy Award for his work in the 1987 epic biographical film, The Last Emperor.

Looking at Ryuichi's body of work, Eky concluded that a musician did not necessarily have to make pop music to have a significant impact.

"The music he makes can bring my feelings to somewhere far away," he said. "It's the kind of feeling that I have yet to experience with other types of music. It's sort of a validation that music has its own language."

Did Eky believe that, considering the album's unconventional sound and lyrical themes, Water Will Find Me would have a place in the contemporary Indonesian music scene?

"It would be difficult, for sure. But it doesn't mean choosing the other path would be easier. It's worth fighting for. And I will fight for it," he answered.

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