Imelda Fransisca, a psychologist and former Miss Indonesia, and Ramonita Baradja, a writer and mom, provide various tips on how to be mothers in today’s hectic and busy society in their book Modern Mama: Wake up, Fight, Repeat!

A modern mother, the book says, should go through three stages on a daily basis, and those are, as the title suggests, to wake up, to fight and to repeat all over again.

The first stage does not simply mean getting up early every day, but also building confidence to stand on the right principles and not to be easily shaken by difficult circumstances or social pressure.

This stage, according to the authors, also means to enjoy the ride. Modern moms should sometimes try to relax and take a deep breath to accept the fact that being a mother is not an easy job, but it is also not something impossible.

The authors add that modern moms must reduce their ego and ambition, because they need to realize that they no longer live for themselves, but for their children as well.

And when things get really tough, modern moms must remain smart and confident, because without these traits, life will feel much heavier. This leads to another tip for modern moms, which is to stop worrying about everything. They need to realize that it is okay to make mistakes, because nobody is perfect. What is more important is to realize the mistakes and fix them quickly.

Embrace your motherhood, because it takes someone really brave to be a mother, someone who is more than herself. That is, we need to be able to accept a new status as a mother, because being a mother is a physical and mental decision to raise children as well as being a woman who can love others more than herself (page 37).

In the second stage, fight, the authors provide beautiful illustrations of a modern mom’s daily life.

Sometimes, a modern mom can face five things at the same time, for example: The phone rings, the baby cries and at the same time, someone knocks on the door of your house while you are trying to dry the clothes but it’s starting to rain. Finally, the kitchen tap was left open and now water is overflowing from the sink onto the kitchen floor.

When faced with so many challenges at once, a modern mom must be able to set priorities. You must identify which are the priorities and which are not. Always do first things first and postpone less important matters. All have their own time, don’t worry too much.

Be confident about your decision. Do not hesitate, because doubt will damage your priorities. Be optimistic. Rest assured that there will be another opportunity that might be better, but one you didn’t think of before. You never know, the best is yet to come.

In the final stage, repeat, the authors emphasize the importance of commitment. A mother is committed to nurturing and raising children to adulthood and being an independent person. The level of success of a person is determined by the level of commitment, which can be high or low. In theory, a high level of commitment will produce good results.

Adhering to the three stages outlined above is easier said than done, because realistically, to fill the roles of a mother and a breadwinner is no easy feat.

Being a mother and a career woman at the same time is tiring, and you are not alone in going through this if you are one of those modern moms.

This little book from Imelda and Ramonita is worth reading, especially by mothers and those who want to become moms. The book can be used as a guideline in pursuing a dual role amid the demands of the modern era.

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