Irena (not her real name), a 34-year-old education activist in Jakarta, has never felt this dejected and lonely her whole life.

“During the pandemic, my activist friends have become even more ambitious because they believe that this crisis could be a pretty great opportunity to leverage our movement, since the online learning system has brought so many problems,” she said.

“So my friends have been so lost in their attempts to find donors and secure new partnerships with various stakeholders. Their unlikely success in securing funds during our troubled economy amid COVID-19 has become similar to drug [use], causing them to be addicted to [their pursuits]. As a result, they’ve become more pragmatically ambitious than ever.”

As a result, Irena’s relationships with her friends have been transformed into pure business – no more inquiries about her personal life, no more concern over whether she is OK. When Irena tried to reach out to them for personal matters, they did not reply.

She also feels insecure because one particular friend in their education movement, who she feels has become much more charismatic, successful and dominant in the organization, never seems to pay attention to her.

Irena believes this woman pays attention only to those who can match her better qualities.

“She shines really brightly. She's really smart and she's securing a lot of projects and partners for our foundation. She does not even want to look at me because I’m not as bright and charismatic as her and I don’t contribute as much to our movement,” she said.

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