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How far would you go for a birthday celebration?
When one of my fellow moms declared she wouldn't be celebrating her daughter's birthday this year, I was stunned. For her, a birthday party is more than just blowing out candles and cutting cake; it's a once-in-a-lifetime experience that “accidentally” happens every year. That got me thinking about how much money and effort is actually spent on a birthday party.
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For some parents, a birthday party is a non-negotiable matter. (Shutterstock/*)
W
hen one of my fellow moms declared she wouldn't be celebrating her daughter's birthday this year, I was stunned. For her, a birthday party is more than just blowing out candles and cutting cake; it's a once-in-a-lifetime experience that “accidentally” happens every year.
I still remember her princess-themed party, teddy bear party, cupcake party and everything else. There would be competitions, prizes, sky-high cake and lavish decorations. To be honest, I and several friends were waiting for another exciting party this year. And then there were none. Her reason is monetary. "No budget," she said firmly, with a sad hint to her voice. That got me thinking about how much money and effort is actually spent on a birthday party.
My son's birthday falls in the school holidays in July, so a birthday party, as much as I had wanted it to happen, never came true. The only real party he had had was a family party with my extended relatives when he turned one, simply because my mom insisted on something special for her only grandson at that time. We invited around 35 people and held it in our house with cake, food and everything. I don't know how much it cost because my mom paid for everything. Her idea, her money, her grandson. So I didn't really have a say either.
Speaking about grandma’s plan, my co-worker recalled one time when Lebaran collided with her son’s birthday.
Apparently in her hometown, holding a grandchild's birthday party in a newly opened fast food chain was a statement of status. So grandma had a grand plan. Too bad the birthday boy was a health food freak who wouldn’t even touch French fries or fried nuggets in a meal. Let alone want a birthday party with deep-fried chicken. The argument trapped the mother in the middle for months.
(Read also: Should I feed my child organic food?)
Growing up, Andrew enjoyed several parties at school and others at Sunday school. Entering elementary school, the traditional cake, clowns and game transformed into a half day at a playground, laser game course or trampoline park. Then boys started to invite boys only and girls would have their own girly party that included salon and spa treatments.
He attended many parties and was always excited to go and buy presents for the birthday boy/girl. But he never asked for a party. When he turned six, my mom insisted he have another celebration with his friends. Since it was a school holiday, I turned to Sunday school, only to find he was on a waiting list. Other moms, whose sons shared the birthday month with Andrew, had had the same idea. The Sunday school teacher suggested a shared party, but everyone refused because each had their own theme and rundown.
I gave up. For some parents, a birthday party is a non-negotiable matter. Trust me, I’ve been there.
On my bucket list was celebrating his July 14th birthday in Paris, on the lawn of the Eiffel Tower. We made it back in 2010 on his fourth birthday, when we visited England for my brother's graduation and modified the itinerary to fit in my crazy plan. We bought the cake from a nearby bakery, with several macarons, and had the candle-blowing moment among the crowds celebrating Bastille Day. He fell asleep before the fireworks started.
Since then, we have celebrated Andrew's birthday at home, ordering cake in characters he likes. Soon he outgrew the cake and asked for candles on his favorite jelly instead. We still do the singing and candle-blowing, but it's just between us.
When he was about to turn ten last month, we attended this unique birthday party. Instead of hauling the whole party out, the mother decided to have an open house for the day. We were told the estimated candle-blowing time, but were free to come and go at anytime. Friends, family and neighbors could stop by whenever convenient. The catch? The birthday girl could wear her princess dress all day.
So, what did we do this year? We woke up early to blow out the candles (on his favorite honeydew jelly), then I left for work to his complaint. "Mom, if you're still working then what makes today special?" I gave him a kiss, uploaded the picture on Instagram, asked for permission to leave the office early and joined him at dinner time.
It was a special day, after all.
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Ruth Ninajanty is a mom blogger who enjoys everyday adventure with her son.
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