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Jakarta Post

The survivors of dating app violence

As dating apps become increasingly popular in Indonesia, cases of sexual assault and deception have risen. We spoke with some survivors about their stories.

Permata Adinda (The Jakarta Post)
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Jakarta
Wed, February 24, 2021

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Warning: The following article contains descriptions of rape, emotional abuse and forced abortion.

To her friends, Shara is a bright and exceptionally funny woman. That’s also what the man she met on Tinder told her. He liked her, he said, because she was talkative and had a way of entertaining him. 

Shara, 28, used the dating app Tinder because of social pressure. Almost all her friends were married and had children. They told her to get a boyfriend, teasingly saying she was gay.

Busy with work, a relationship didn’t feel like a priority for Shara. She found herself awkward around men and had only gone on one date. But after she installed Tinder, one man caught her attention. He was easy to talk to and shared her interests.

The chemistry between them grew, and the chats became more intense, eventually graduating to video calls. They then met in person for lunch, but nothing more. He was still just a friend. 

One day, he asked to visit. “I am currently working from home and need someone as company,” he said. She let him, not suspecting anything. They had known each other for a while, and she had grown to trust him. The meeting was also arranged for the afternoon and neighbors would be nearby. 

But once in her room, he pinned her down, grabbed both of her wrists with one hand, and raped her. She cried and asked him why, to which he shrugged and said, “I couldn’t control my libido,” and, “It’s what everyone else is doing.”

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  • Palmerat Barat No. 142-143
  • Central Jakarta
  • DKI Jakarta
  • Indonesia
  • 10270
  • +6283816779933
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